If I shout it's because I love you... Although I wish I didn't have to

Poem by Marc Aupiais

If I shout it's because I love you,
If I scream or you accuse!

It's because I care where they abuse,
I love where they use!

If I scream its because I'm not going anywhere!
I'm critical because our future is one!

And I'd never care to leave!
Not even for just once!

Though I wish you'd say more!
And let me know you better!

If I scream it's because I love you,
And I feel helpless as
though you hear me not!

I wonder if I know you at all

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I see you, I feel you,
In my heart, and your hope!
I hear you, see you,
I wonder and love!

Yet as you speak,
As you seek!

I wonder if, and I wonder how,
I wonder if I know you!
At all!

I love you but I am not me around you!

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I love you,
But I withdraw from you,
I am not me,
I do not tell you,

I love you,
But I cannot trust you,
Not if you Act the way you do!

I love but I don't have to be there with you,
Nor tell you my deep truths,
Or avoid dangers with you!

I watch you head for doom,
In this world and the next,
I do not defend for you,
For you have chose death,
Not my path my love!

And I leave you to God!
Knowing he will condemn against you!
Because you refuse my help,
For love of you!

So I withdraw,
And threaten for you,
Feeling inch by inch,
My losing for you!

Least you turn and seek for me,
You'll find me,
In truth,
Hidden deep!

But though I feel your presence,
Behind me as I sleep!

I know the distance to you,
And that our paths may cross,
Or never cross against each other,

As it is!
You head away!

And I cannot follow away without you!

The red sun rises in the night

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Die dag is donker as een ander dag.
Die dag is donker as die nag,
En daar is nie hoop nie.
In die dag of die nag!?

The day is different,
Darker than the night,
Though the sun is high,
Clouds break in deathly upon the skies,
Purple,
Or blue,
Not warm!

So cold,
The day is colder than arctic breeze,
The sun has forgotten our names!

Neglected the seasons,
Cold in summer,
In all the heat,
Colder than I've been,
And it rains,
Only on one's cheeks,
Cheeky rain it is!

Then grey!

And all the colours,
Matter not,

For you are the coldness,
That haunts my life,
The ghostly evaporation,
That was designed-
Made,
To warm not freeze!

But what warmth,
Of blackest hearts?

Terrible is the blasphemy which destroys my soul

Poem by Marc Aupiais

The beauty of our sinful thoughts,
The wonderment of the blasphemy,
Against emperor, God,
Against my nation and my birth!

The wonderment of the Blasphemy-
Terrible is the blasphemy which destroys my soul!

For it destroys your soul,
This blasphemy,
So beautiful,
So untrue!

And I hear the sun rise

Poem by Marc Aupiais

And I hear the sun rise,
I see the songs of birds,
And I cry,
I know the truth!

And the truth love,
You hurt me and the universe's dear fabric and threads,

Perhaps oblivious,
You stab me,
And break me.

A horse with hardly a spirit!
You broke me,
Will you leave me now?
Baby girl!?

With every breath

Poem by Marc Aupiais

With every breath,
I die a little more,
I break a little more,
And should my heart shake and shiver,
I know I am not at risk of suicide,
No- I'd die of you- causing me heart... Shake!

For your every thought,
Every breath,
Kills me gradually inside!
For I love you and miss you,
But my heart is breaking within my soul!

And your words destroy my inner foundation,
Pillars of my life,
I am dying of you,
I'm never and no more!

I love you love!
Don't make me meek!

In the morning it's Saturday

Poem by Marc Aupiais

In the morning it's Saturday,
I'm almost a day ahead.

I see further than that-
Into future and past!

I know of our love-
In lasts its was planned!

It gets stronger my love,
Truth never failed to plan!

But where we fought for our love,
We forgot how to breathe,
Forgot how to love,
Forgot how to see!

Have faith in our love!
Its there within and without!

Just be with me,
Within God's humble hands,
I trust in you and his plan,
My life in your hands!

My love- you are all I am,
My purpose, my country,
My queen, antarctic,
Or cold,
Or desert hot!

I never gave up,
And never but forge ahead!

Searching for your heart!
I know your face,
I know your voice,
I know your name,
And God's dear slain!

Baby girl,
I live with but one purpose,
To love, and be with,
To have and to hold,
Dear you!

Hold tight my being,
Tight, clutch, hold,
Never release me,
Ensnare me,
With love, trust, faith,
And sureness more true than hope!

Stand by me,
Be the icy wind cold, think and thin!

Loving you,
Is why I was born,

My wishes love

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Salvation first- to you and me,
God and truth,
Not sin or dreams!

Never a death, nor culture of death!
Things permanent not fleeting,
Don't separate us forever!

In the world love,
Not of the world!

In the culture of death,
The nations of doom and death!

But not of them,
Different- not them!

Good not evil!
Truth not sin!

Stop the drive for sin!

Romeo and Julliette- Adam and Eve- suicide their fate!

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Purposely mispelt,
Romeo and Juliette,
Adam and Eve!

What heights for love,
Suicide, unnecessary death!

The fruit of the garden,
Chemistry of death!

Baby girl promise me now!
Tend our garden,
Never serve death!

The damnation of my enemies- a blessing to the world

Poem by Marc Aupiais

My love I pray,
That the enemies of church,
And my heavenly estate,
God bless God,
God condemn them to hell,
To punishment worse than 10 000 deaths.

I pray my love for their damnation then,
For the world wants to reward them,
To praise them as heroes,
Therefore I turn from prayers for repentance,
To curses- to prayers of damnation,
As the ius gentium is at risk!

And I pray an eternal death on them,
The enemies of the lux,
Lucem gentium rise again,

Destroy die nasie van droome,
Destroy die nasie van dood.

And condemn them visibly to hell,
Who accuse mother church,
And her true just children!

I pray they change their ways,
But if they don't,

Justice reign down from the heavens,

May justice be done against the sinner,
Eternal dread,
Aghast dear sinner,
Least the heavens fall-
Justice be done,
Should the skies collapse,
And all alive die and fall in drought!

Why you will leave me

Poem by Marc Aupiais

You know how I strenuously object,
Or am selfish,
And act not set!

I am weak and love you,
Yet with every betrayal,
The more around your little finger I am wrapped!

The more danger there is love,
That you'd leave,
I'd have nothing left,
Only life and suffering,
Perhaps wishing my death,
If you left!

Baby girl, betray me... Make me cry... Yet again... Shall I? Or shall I not be too? Don't make me leave dear you...

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Its intimate, close,
I rest within your heart.
We are one flow, one meaning.

And then you betray me,
As though in safety,
I cannot fight you!

And I know you've tricked moi,
To insure I won't leave,
Over your deep hurt, in my soul!

You make me cry love,
Weep within my heart!

And though I smile and laugh,
I try to be distant,
For you take advantage when close love,

You hurt me, betray me,
As though safe.

And I wonder- should I still stay?

The aliens landed in Africa, they destroyed: our culture, our lands, our hope at freedom, my love

Poem by Marc Aupiais

They landed in birds with wings,
And came on swans across oceans,
Some were white as some of us are,
Some were black,
Others Asian.

They landed on our shores,
And now nothing grows,
Due to the witchcraft of economics.

They offered us free water and bread,
For our souls and culture shredded.

Unicef, Red Cross,
And nothing grows,
And pets- we wait in queues,
And change our values,
To death do we head.

And who'd buy food with
what little we have,
We spend our days working,
Waiting in food queues.

The economy stopped,
Since the aliens arrived,
Western Aliens.
Nothing, no longer grows!

Empathy for us,
A cute dear pet.

And I sit in my home,
By my tv set,
And I wonder at Africa's people,
Doomed by whites like me,
Asians and blacks!

Who came on evil winds headed West!

Rape, murder, torture, abduction, I speak of like a thunderstorm

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Rape, murder, torture, abduction, I speak of like a thunderstorm,
And the water unsafe,
Electricity and internet irregular,
Crime, another murder,
Another death.

Another suicide of someone I know.
A friend says I internalize it.
I just don't care.

But I see you love!
And I too care!
And I cry!

I may falter and ice may break

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I may falter-
Break-
As suncast ice,
Like iron cake.

As the lightning strikes,
And thunder shouts love!
Electricity vaults through my veins!

I may falter and fall-
And break!
But my love for you will be strong!

For whenever it leaves it returns,
Like the winds!

I hope you feel my love,
I hope you feel me today!

The secret of the death of dusk

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Flashes of light,
Turn to sights.

Like a small string,
Light sprinkles and splatters,
Beautiful but dead.

Red, murky bright blue and purple,
Death throws of light.

I lie and moan, and groan.
Anger again takes to a race,
From my mind and heart,
My soul! Anger swells, swirls,

And the tears drop from my soul's heart!

I look down at you baby girl, as though dreamt on my form,
And my anger!
Where is it?
I feel insecure!

I know my enemy,
And I cry!

And I do nothing,
But love and weep!

I wish my death,
Yet then you do too,
Ask to join me!
And I can't and don't.

And I lie here,
Confused!

Tolove Tohate ToBeSoScaredToCare

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I cannot stand for grief.
I collapse an sit here-
I write!

You've strung my heart,
Whichsnapped.

Whichbroke,
Whichdied,
Whichwept.

Ihateyou
Iloveyou.

I want you
ToCryToWeep,
To realise whatyou'vedone!
ToTruth ToMe!

IHate ILove
Ihateloveyou
All at once!

Suchanger
Suchpassion!
Icollapse!

Your sins love

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Should I sin, even mortally I take heart,
Should I cheat on you or one day commit Adultery!

You've certainly set the standards high.
Any sin, even murder or rape,
Or should I drop a nuclear bomb.

Nothing I can do can make me as evil as you,
Love.

And should I betray you I take heart,
For there is nothing you could say-
To make me feel slightly ashamed-
Compared with you love!

No- should I betray you-
Why should I feel guilt?

Except to God-
The giver of life!

But not for you love-
No limits with you!

Nothing worse could I do-
Than what you've done,

Really! I'm free,
To do whatever I'd have now have done!

And there's nothing-
That would guilt me-
That you could say!

Where are you my dreams- you slip away!

Poem by Marc Aupiais

How long have I been alone?
Dreaming of your touch!
Of your shallow kiss,
Of your beautiful laugh and smile?

What kind of woman,
Makes her man promise,
Then makes every sort of delay,
In coming to his hope,
And learning,
Of heart and home?

And my love for...but you!

Poem by Marc Aupiais

And the threat does grow to the land,
It crosses our border into our land,
Africa Blessed, cursed by the threat,
The threat keeps us Africa shackled to poverty straps,
Destroys our morals,
Condemns our people to death!

And I pray God reign on the threat,
Let the skies pour out,
And rain rain and fire!

But the skies are magenta, tangerine, red!
Winds billow and bred!

Hatred in me for a foreign land,
And I said!

They hate us and pretend to love,
They infiltrate our hearts and heads!

And I wept,
Because God said love!

You and the nation of all's death!

And the skies rained tears,
From Africa's barren womb,
With you, my soul has bred!
Must you end our lives for
flashing lights and bread?

Baby girl

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Baby girl, lady beauty!
Justice within me!
Without you I don't question me,
Without you I have no God, no faith, no hope or way to life!

Baby girl, your words and acts affect,
Change, hurt, may one day kill,
Not proximate cause-
That would be me,

But baby, baby, lady!
Your every action,
Because I love jealously!
Affects me,
Deadly or life,
See!

You never know with the poor

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Something to tell you love,
Something quite grave,
I'm not ashamed of it love,
Even if it caused a grave,

You never know with the poor,
Perhaps they'd have a grave.

When I stop at a robot,
What you call a traffic light.
I stop a few metres back-
To avoid accidents and the poor!

They tried to take my car by force,
I've never cared to help since!

And every day my morning route,
Takes me past a madman.
He thinks he not the robots controls the traffic,
He almost dances,
And speaks to demons past!

The government dumped the madmen on the streets,
Let their families throw them out like meat.

And one day he lay in the street!
An epileptic fit,
Collapsed in my path.
I adjusted my steering wheel and drove on by.

You never know with the poor!

And perhaps my imagination,
A false guilt memory,
Or a dream,
Of guilt not mine,

I imagine later I saw a man,
Lying in the road,
On the other side,
Perhaps the madman or another,
You never know with the poor!

A knife wound in his stomach,
I drove on by!
And I know I would real or not!

You never know with the poor my love,

And looking at them causes pain!

You'd presume

Poem by Marc Aupiais

You'd presume you were my only constant,
But she is love!
I love you,
But can I trust such a girl?

So independent,
But not always right?

So much so I often plan to leave you,
And have to fight for you,
Against you!
Jealous I am!

But for my daily sustaining!
I turn to her not you!
I cannot trust you, much!
Not when you,
Focus such on worldly stuff!

Some day

Poem by Marc Aupiais

One day- I lay down on my bed!
I felt that you were there,
I asked God take my breath!
Send me off to death!

Some day, I lay down on my bed!
I wish that I were dead!

But I felt your presence!
In my heart, and head!

A ghostly love!
A hope, and a real spend!

And I await to see you alive!
Neither of us are dead!

Nothing but you I want to sleep

Chaste waiting sky - by Marc Aupiais! All Rights Reserved!

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Nothing but you,
I want to sleep!
To think only of your face,
Nothing like your touch of me on earth or 100 thousand suns

No touch but yours do I want to permit,
No feel but your feel,
No taste but your taste,
No smell, but your soft sent!

No warmth but your body,
Your form,
To converge with me!

Yet baby girl,
I want you see,
To wait and want and wait on you,
To wait even until an age-
Not to turn that page as a date!

An eternity I can wait!
And until then my love,
My presence and words,
My inner thoughts!
Make love- to you,
My only thought!

Marriage you and me,
Not empty philanthropy!

Nothing feels like you

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I feel your presence as I sleep,
Lying behind me,
Cuddling me!

I know better than to turn,
To meet with your ghostly feat!

I feel your kisses on my lips,
Your breath on my ear,
My cheeks,
And I do kiss your ghostly eyes!
Closed for my kiss!

I think this is it- no more poems or writing

I think I'm finally calling it quits- hanging up my pen- with this and all the scripturelink blogs!

How is it so? What night wind? What blow night dream blown, sand and glow

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Its like I have an intolerance of you,
As I once did milk,
A reaction,
Hatred, horror, revolsion,
But why?

Not why hatred?
Not why horror?
No why revolted?
Disgusted?

No!

Why am I here?
I cannot leave you,
My heart and soul,
Cower but seek you out now!

I cannot, will not shall not leave you!
Not for ever or a day!

A sound- a marimba- no the wind chime

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I hope its not a dream catcher I said,
Fearing attracting witches and ghosts!
No- a wind chime!
Sounds like a marimba!

Oh I said in my mind!
As I listened as on the hill,
Where I reside,
The wind hits a chime!

And I lie here,
Slowly erasing elements of you-
From my hope and life!

Disappointing,
To my mind and heart!

Always yours,
But slight not said!

I didn't ask for that

Poem by Marc Aupiais

To mock the troubled-
The mentally ill,
And those who thought to care!

I objected rightly-
How could a good person abuse,
Mock and hate,
And merciless - treat like fate!

Human person,
Nothingness!

What of mercy?
What of truth!

Do they even exist to you?

Every person deserves truth and respect!
The first of sins-
Lead to death!

Many will die from your words!
Typical of your cast!
Dear murder!
Angel of death!

Why you?

Poem by Marc Aupiais

God said stop dating,
And I asked why!

He showed me you!
My love for you!
Like no love I've ever felt!

Yet right now I'm only hurt!
Different morals?
Or selling your soul!
I know you think you haven't!
Not as much as those you admire!
But you have!
How can I love you?

I want to be gone,
But something keeps me!

She wants me to leave you,
To be hers likely!

Yet I can't!
However much I flirt with it!
So I cry!
And wonder why God curses me!
With such a child for my future bride!
Who cares for position and fame!
Before family,
Truth and
My Faith!

Once you were deeper!
But I can't bare to look in your face!

I can't bare your presence!
It constantly hurt!

How dare you so slander God's earth!
And me, you treat arrogantly!

How much longer will I stay?
Why has God cursed me,

All I wanted: a Godly, chaste, beautiful girl!
Instead he gave me you!

Ek slaap, ek wakker, but always I dream, and wake- think yet of none of but you | a foreign bride across oceans and seas, across continents, beyond hope!

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Ek slaap. Daar is net nie 'n klein klink nie.
Ek is alleen.
En ek droom.
Ek droom van die donker
nag! En van jou: Die Dag in My Wereld!
Ek droom.
Ek droom.
Ek droom van jou!
En ek wakker!

Red My Meisie! Baby Girl My only Love!

I remember that December,
September, June and July!
From that memorable day,
Commemorating the day of my 19th year,
Since at 4:15 I was birthed!

And since then I knew you a bit!
And since those dates,
Like halloween!
Die donker dag van All Hallows Eve!
And I think of none dear but you!

Et J'suis Marc Evan Aupiais,
Yet my heart bears your name,
And my face is made only
for your fame! That is-
your wishes and wants,
Made for you- every hair!

And I pray to God!
Make her greater then all,
And than me!

Ek slaap, en slaap,
Ek maak a klink!
Jy is alles! Jy is my genade.
Ek is jou hoop! Jy is my alles!

Daar is nie genoeg geld nie. Daar is nie genoeg mooi dinge in die wereld nie!

You are priceless!
Worth so much,
Worthless-
Worth beyond all worth!

C'est la vie!
But not without you!

J'adore tu!

And I hope and cry,
Ek slaap en wakker.
Ek gebid! God- ek gebied
God! Vir jou!
You are my only prayer!
Your salvation why Heaven matters!

And I sense you,
You deathly Siren!
My lover, my soul!

And wonder!
What have I?
I have your love for me!
However you it do hide!

Jealous! Thank God!
The black mained mare!
A white star on her forehead!
She rares,
And impossible,
The fur a faux-dress!
And a beautiful,

Cold white woman,
With black hair,
Does not rest!
'Cept in my hand,
'Til death,
No- beyond it!
Never leave me love!

Haunt me,
And my resting places!

I couldn't say no- not as yet!

Poem by Marc Aupiais

She offers but I say no,
She'll have to content herself with thoughts and power of will,
I'm taken- for once I know and want it more,
To be yours forever- dedicated to your love!

Yet I fear my position,
You have not said,

I wait and wonder kneeling,
I pray for you by my small little single bed!

Am I a fool love?
Is it in my head?
Every word of love you said,
Every secretly loving caress,

It would make sense,
At least that's what your competition says!

But I said no,
She'll have to content herself with her will and love!

I said no-
Because to life with you,
I've said yes!

Thought the devil, their lover- offers the world for countless souls

Poem by Marc Aupiais in his saint name Philomena

Thought the devil, their lover- offers the world for countless souls!
Though nothing stops them in their sins,
And the world talks of them,
Adds to them!

And the "good" admire the parts not so blasphemous!
As though the world at large,
Talent starved!

But Papa, he says we should not to them,
Or to power aspire!

Though the Devil offers
them the world, a risk,
Its not just their soul,
They obliterate!

And only for a moment,
Do they rise,
Like the flowers,
Dead by winter!
Though the world loves them,
Breathe no more,

Though the devil offers you the world,
Your soul- it is why I love you-
Nothing else but it would ever!
Make me care my dear!

There be monsters,
And they can't predict past death,
But I can-
To hell itself they've wed,

And in hell lies their torture,
Eternal, living, suffering death,
We all live forever,
They await their death,
That they bet,
6 bullets in Russian Roulette!

The sounds of night- my home without light

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Baby, What is that sound,
The sound of lack of light!
Yet I see- your face, your body,
Your all!

I need not blink,
I would never block you out!
You touch me in the dark of night!
You hold my heart,
As I rest and dream,
And all else doesn't seem!

All there is is you,
My love!

What is wrong, with me dear?

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Again I'm writing,
This love poem to you!
To you, to my world, my Girl Universe!

To you my stars, moon, my night! Sky! Black, like your dark brown hair!

My meisie, the only one for me!

En ek hou om te se dit!
Goiemore, goieaand,
Hoe is dit, my meisiekind!

But will you speak to me in the light of day?
You, the owl that comes with death!
My pet hyena-
Beautiful monster lady girl!

The sun does rise,
She beckons the day!

But I don't want day-
I want MyGirlRise MineHereRise!
If want you by me, baby girl!

As I circle you,
And dance my dance-
My moon-love,
Glow with love for me!

And I wonder if I shall pass this year... Shall I even survive, love?

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Ill again, I cannot drive,
Can't hardly walk, can I!

And your presence it envelops me,
Like the sheets and duvet on my bed!

I sit and mindless watch music on tv,
I hate the foreign beats!

And wonder at the strange foreign melody!

Ill again, what is new,
Yet I think not of pain,
As some hurt overwhelms,
Flows over me like deathly waves, and banes!

I feel pain, and instead,
Its of you, my thoughts,
Of my brain! Not in vain!
Fill my vein, be my bane!
I'm not quite yet entirely insane!
But make me crazy should you need to!
Should, baby girl- it get me you!

Resisting you... Futility

Poem by Marc Aupiais

She said I was stupid,
Pity I'm attracted to you,
She said it as she, my friend, did leave!
Attaching you to my name!
Bad idea she says!
As I awake,
Sick, from a daze!

My health all gone,
My hope not much,
And I am foolishly in love,
With you!

Resisting you is when it happens,
Life falls, and drops in my autumn,
And I wonder what comes-
Winter or spring.

And again you have acted,
Secret and true!

Yet why, do you not come here,
And lay claim you to me to you!

Or is it also secret-
The rendez-vous of hearts!

Claim me love!
Say I'm yours,
Baby girl my girl!

I stand here pure though in mind it is sin

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I stand high and mighty-
I ride a great white horse!
A war horse, a steed,
It stands against the gates of dear Hades,
It fights our banes and deaths!

I stand here pure my love,
And only pure for you!

I serve our God my love-
For your dear sake!

I stand here pure,
Without much sin,

And yours I wait,
Until or blessed day!

To you alone I do sway!

Yet, but, um,
In my mind,
And in my heart-

There I do sin!
For there I doubt,
I most terrible betray!

May it be noted why I am in the wrong

Poem by Marc Aupiais

My love, I have hurt you,
Heard your voice,
Seen your face,
And ignored you,
And went ahead!

Knowing my actions wrong,
I acted and did instead!

Let us be firm why I am wrong,
For mercy not mine to give!

For a gift you disapprove of!
The giving of something,
Belonging to your terrain,
To which you alone have claim!

I'd never think to say I'm right,
But how often do you my authority overwrite?

Perhaps we both need thought today,
And tonight!

I love you baby,
Girl of mine!

Yet remember also the hurt to countless you have done,
By your mercy to that
which serves our enemy-
The Emperor to None!

I do not discount your good love,
But don't discount it- my love, my mind!

Your Night in shining Amour

Poem by Marc Aupiais

My lady of day,
My warmth,
My light!

My moon,
At night!
Though my emotions do take spite and flight!

And I know it with many a might!
You are my lady in the night,
Of light!

More wiley than the ocean or the light!
Very many things that might!

I am your night,
Your darkness in abyss!
That Godly yet bad influence-
That many shun as night!

Baby girl-
I am your shining, night in amour!
A dieu I say!
And and you my night,
And every circle of earth moon and sun!
A dieu and to you,
My lady of the nights and days of my heart!

Turn me into your night and day-
And every circle of clock,
Earth, moon and sun!
For you are mine-
Be it dawn or the hour of none!

I think of no one... Nothing but you

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Summer approaches,
Hellish November, and December!
And yet I care not!

Not for them, my safety or life!
And this pain fills my entire being,
As though fire, water, Ice and granite combine!

You are present in my microscopic minds!
And full every universe I exist in, in life and time!

I breathe in and out you!
I taste you,
And not the wind!
The night breeze!

I miss your touch,
Though it never stops!
And the rain does pitter patter into the drop!

Waterfall-
I fall,
I free fall into you!
And never rise,
Nor pull any shoot!

Your hope in my heart solidifies!
The fires of pain consume,
Destroy!

I hardly concentrate!
I hide in sleep and memory!
The pain I'm in!
Only your love helps!

And every moment I think, I see, I hear, I feel, I engorge!
Baby girl- you play with me!

Am I insane- mad? Insane?

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Am I insane, mad? Insane?
Am I my imagination, my desperate bane?

You who loves me,
Who holds me, baby?

Are you really not in love with me,
As they say you've claimed?

Am I an ant to a queen,
The princess for whom I
give up my life?

Do you not love me?
Is it just coincidence,
When our hearts,
And much else clash?

My health goes should I ignore you!
I die a thousand many deaths!

Am I really insane?
Do you not love me?

Denying me to the world?
Your love for me?

What sin wouldn't I do... For you

Poem by Marc Aupiais

When I met you,
Then soon came the pain-
And I stayed up past 12-

Looking at images of you!

I listen as you touch my heart,
You hold me and my pain goes...

What can save me from you?
What can I say no to you?

For should I reject you a moment,
It hurts everything in me!

What sin would I never do for you love?
Then why did I say no?

Did I say that- I did ya know?

I'd do anything- sin or virtue for you!
Yet virtue-
Benefits more!
Virtue- is what I must do for you!

Its so very true, baby true?

Sometimes you put me in a state- without much grace

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Surely you know how you hurt me,
Your disposable toy, of joy- is the bruise you make me enjoy,

And the wounds,
Like giant shards of glass!
Do photograph past my last!

I want to end me,
Into every ditch, wall or car!

I cannot comprehend-
E'Cept death-
This doom, damned gloom from you my shining moon!

And it feels like death,
So I want to die,
To understand how you've cast my
Die!

Cast in stone is my love-
To every heights!

Yet by your words,
And thoughts-

My heart- my faith-
My love - my cute hope!

You steal,
And barbaric-

Your callous arrogance-
Does my very soul-

My life and all-
Crucify-

A million times and more-
Shards of glass-
In the nuclear wasteland of-
My every hardened days of life!

Baby Girl I hate you, Baby Girl I love you

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Baby Girl I hate you, Baby Girl I love you
In the desert,
Of my heart,
And in the desert of my mind!

My veins, flow with hate and love!
Confusion strikes,
My heart beats, slow, so fast!

The commoners spoke of ghosts!
They told stories,
Of the terrible death,
Of the every sane sanity,

And I think of you in the desert winds,
They scrape skin, hot!
In heart, soul, sold mind!

I think of you with my desert heart!
The only living being,
To ever reside,
To live,
Within my heart!

Where is my lover, where is my friend?

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I stand on a hill,
My feet still, sweat!
My feet are sore,
I've walked,
Walk- my epithet!

I wondering star,
A broken shooting star!

As I fly-
My life drips-
Out my dear hearts!

Shall you drink my silver blood-
Shall you leave it to sin, and waste?

Drink my heart,
My blood, dear maiden!

Forget of how to sin,
Learn again love!

Do not abet evil,
Nobody wins!

Drink my blood love,
It falls from my wings,
And drops from my heart,
It flows on the winds!

On the winds of your thoughts,
Winds of your heart!
And wheresoever you head,
I float on your draft!

As the sun rise and set!
Set your heart to True North,
Set your heart on our God!
I'll follow you there!

Evil is lack- where good should now shine

Poem by Marc Aupiais

We are not reflection,
Of emitters of divine-
Not mirrors,
Or solar panels mine!

We each commit our own dear acts- good or bad,
Our own horse cart!

And God- however we beg-
Hardly overrides choice!
Make my choice for me I often do beg!

But I lack-
That is evil defined!

And that which is lack,
Which stands and prevents good-
By being less good,
And keeping good out!

That which is lack-
Is all that sends the tiniest and biggest souls to hell!

How our world loves,
These arrogance weapon murders,
It adores the saints of hell,
Who lead all to death!

And so have you claimed to do love-
You say you love the words of death!

Something of a different bin

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Dumped in sea, ocean tide,
After being grilled,
Quite fine,

Nothing like our pathos of sin-
Riches, comfort, life,
But not sin!

I am not a saint,
Never have been one!

Wretched am I,
Pathos- emotional man!

I am not a saint,
Nor basically good!

The sun, shoots rays,
Accusatory light,
The stars- testify,
And even the moon-

All obey the laws to which-
God did subject!

Yet- while I obey the same rules as them-
With additional ability,
More we must not sin!

Often I agonise about you- but I will not to leave you

Picture: Sunset Agony - Marc E Aupiais! Copyright Marc Evan Aupiais! All Rights Strictly Reserved!

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I often agonise,
I think of sins and sunrise!
I think of what you said and did,
And my heart skips a nano-second!

It's not enough to make me leave,
Though in past I've considered another to please!

I love you still, my dearest love!
But I won't betray you for your scene!

Mother mary and you- love

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I wouldn't say you are Mary- that beautiful,
feminine, wiley, yet chaste figure,
The inspiration of our very salvation,

A woman, as human as eve,
And like Eve,
Born without original sin,
As Christ too,
Was born sinless,
As was adam!

When I think of Mary,
Also of you,
My sinful baby girl,
but sinful, not sinless,
Yet trying,
And moral,
And chaste-
As can be!

Not perfect,
Like Mary!
But perfect as mine!
Though we both do sin!
And that angers me love!

The sound, of music, I have wonderment- found

Poem by Marc Aupiais

The sound of real music-
Not sex, drugs, or other talent trap crutch!
No real music, not money cows!
I hear a real voice sing,
It is your words,
Be true, in loving, symphony!

Few true sounds but you,
I tread!

Yet to dawn- Dawn Treader, dread, tread!
Dear lover- I would come to you!
But you must come instead- to me!
Do you love me as of yet?

Wait until God said,
And find me over oceans,
Dread!

Love, love me from my bottom to the top of my head,
And from my toes, and hill-
To my bottom's dear rest!

We know each other intuitive- think!
Knowledge of soul!
Future matrimony!

I hear true music within your being!

Sweet nothings she whispers in my ears

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Sweet nothings she whispers in my ears!
Perhaps an angel or the devil,
She leans on me-
Whispers left and right!

It would hurt you what she whispers-
A devil you'd call her-
Enemy!

She says you're evil-
Disaster to me!

She relates her imagine-
All about me!

And I wonder at it,
Could that be of me?

She says things in whispers,
To no body- only to me!

And I wonder at her love of me!

She's not often liked you!
She'd rather I leave you!
All me to her,
Her prize in love for life!

Yet I sit here and wonder with you!
What to do to do!

I'm not yet through with you-
Perhaps my sadness will get through to you!

She whispers sweet nothings in my ears,
Her imagination runs quite simply wild.

But I sit here and do nothing,
Much,
Love I wait and think of you!

For rest, of us- life is dull boring dull

Poem by Marc Aupiais

For us real people life is dull,
Constant fear-
Education woes,
Taxi war, guns go off!

Neighbourhood watch,
And robbery!

Blatant rape,
We're colonies!

For the rest of us, love!
Life is dull,
But I don't escape with drugs,
Dance, or alcohol!

And you help them love-
To destroy dear lives!
As we all watch,
And cheer along!

For the rest of us,
Life- dull, dead, smell!

I sing this as I dig a grave,
And wonder if you'd love me safe?

I sing and dance- must I chance?

Picture: Havenly Skies by Marc Evan Aupiais! Copyright Marc Aupiais! All Rights Strictly Reserved!

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I sing and dance to French music,
Really it lacks that American non-mystique!

Issues and people!
French, france, love!

J'adore the melodious,
Even drunken sound!

I listen to French music,
European charm,
Must more mystique!

Not American dullness,
Or British lack of sheen,

Class, much more-
French tunes, melody!

Baby girl- revenge against you

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Smile, though you should not;
Baby girl- revenge against you;

They say revenge is sweet,
Indeed it is,
At least when it's hidden kiss,
Is me hurting you-
For you hurting me!

Sin it calls, beckons me!
Revenge she pleads,
Be evil with me!

I see her, sway,
And dance,
Now bray!

Revenge, so grey,
Against you and your name!

Anger come and Anger go,
Revenge she promises,
With sweet pink lips!

Baby girl, don't upset me!
Or suddenly- sin against you-
So much infinite- sweet!

I say this as I wonder-
Shall I take my sweet tasting,
Simply said-
Revenge!

As every man may have said!
So I wonder- revenge- said game, set?
On my faithfulness-
Do you bet?

Baby girl you anger me

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I think sometimes on purpose,
Baby girl you anger me'
Do you prefer me angry baby,
Baby girl,
Monstrosity,
What would I be if you

would have me become?
Of sin, of love, you priceless, sinless dove?

Purposely it seems,
You choose what hurts,
What's contrary!

You do exactly-
Excite my veins!
Pump my heart-
A drum,
Drummed up!

Baby girl you anger me;
Rile me up, not purposely?
Say exactly what I would not,
Purposely-
You hurt dear me!

Baby girl, you don't anger me,
Instead I'm hurt,
Crying naked on the ground,
As invisibly you cut my skin!

But nobody sees,
Lest least of all-
Do you see me?

I love in love your jealous love

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I know how you feel-
You never got an invite-
What did you expect?
Them to know and truth find!

I know any girl I know,
You'd rather set alight!
You light up,
For my care!

Nothing brings more joy!

Would you love-
Have my manners left behind?

It is not an event-
Which would nigh-
Or at night-

Cause a loss in our love!

Am I so fickle love-
Can we not never trust?

Would I betray you for her-
Never- I have sworn this on God's own gift of my life!

Be wary- be careful-
Indeed, I shall do-

I would never want my desert love-
For you to run dry!

Love- to you I cling

Poem by Marc Aupiais

They keep asking,
Braying donkeys,
Lions after my blood!

No- I shout!
I screech No!

Blue sky grey,
Clouds, filled with desert filled seeds!
I wonder at you!
Foreign, yet local and mine!

Foreign in many things,
Yet like me in others!

Distance between love,
Not distance between us!

Like in the tempest-
Quite quietly separated!

God brings us together,
But grace is his magic stick!

Baby girl, I love you!
I think of you,
Better than a rainfall of gold!

More than a million soldiers or pals!

Not a single drop of hope!
But your ocean in my hope!

A desert holds and ocean!
My love- barren yet not of you!
My love- dry-
Bare- winds!

Except not dry to you!

All I have I've only you!
Your kiss, I tremble at the idea of you!

I shake- and feel you as I write!

In a desert out there!
Searching, though we've long been found!

I know who you are love!
You are my dew, water, rain-
Reign in my life!

The more I know you the more I cry

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I wonder as I write,
Is it worth knowing you,
So bossy in my life,
But callous in what you speak of:

Hurting me-
Daily
You really do hurt me, my lady!

And I'm always caught between:
Believing them about you,
And believing you and God!

I certainly don't yet trust you,
I'm not sure if I'm ready for you!

Yes, I'm sure you seem to think
You obey your conscience:

Yet, it keeps causing hurt to me,
The things you say and do!

Dearest Lady, I love you,
Woman in my dreams, lady girl!

Yet you so often hurt me,
And hold me to a standard-
Far, much higher than to you,

And I don't know how you hurt me,
I'm physically harmed by you!

Dear baby I love you,

I really though wonder,
And weep due to your ways of speaking,
And Acting


As though I didn't at all matter to you!

The things I want besides you- love

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I decided to make this list-
Of things I like besides you-
So far I've though of God,
Family- friends and obligatories-
This is public after all!

I want food and water-
To live and to exist-
And to make it to heaven-
In hope you make it there!

I certainly want oxygen-
And I'd say I want some friends!

But you alone are my company-
Gosh- can't I exclude the besides!

For I want food to be strong for you-
Water to survive another day to love you!

Friends to share my love of you-
But also because I love them-
Of course!

And because they sustain me emotionally-
When you are cruel and mean,

And I want to make it to heaven-
As people meet not with love in Hades

I want the world to be better-
I love children- and want them protected-
Women and babies too-

I hate the evils intertwined with life least they hurt you-
Or your soul!

The things I want besides you-
Are those that better us for you!

Two things calm the beast which is me

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Two things calm the beast which is me
Two things quite simply seen

You- your look-
Your love for me-
It shakes from me lust-
Every sin-
Your love for me my very beautiful lady- purifies-
Me!

And music my love-
Pure sounds of classical harp
Or the beauty of opera-
Flute, trumpet: Grand Piano;
Love!

Singing and classical sounds!
Drain from me anger and lust!
I listen to be calm!
I listen to praise you and God!

Two things calm my soul!
You my love- your soul and love!

Do I know you at all, I ask myself

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I was upset with you love,
For what I thought-
But all the more-
For a long time now-
Furious with you!

And yet I wonder- why,
When I feel your soul-
It seems I don't know you at all!
Hate you almost!

I wonder at us-
And at your stall!
At what you say and what you think-
Is that you,

I wonder-
At God!

Was he telling the truth!
I was quite upset-
Unbelieving when he said it was you!

It took so long-
Such an amount of exception-
To accept you-
Your heritage-

And I watch you in pain-
Its why I do hate!
And betrayed you-
As you knew-
Another day!

I once trust you with my soul!
But now I don't on the surface know!

While I waited on you-
You walked round-
You say!

While I focused on God-
You served the devil!

Perhaps God wants selflessness!
You're sure my crucifixion!

A white dove rests on me!
Why does God demand this love of me?

Is it true-
Do you still love me?

I am sensitive my love

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I am sensitive my love,
Easily upset!

Any simple event,
Can set me quite upset!

I am sensitive,
To the smallest plight!

Slight thing upset me!
Smallest things can give joy!

How great the joy!
Should life come of me!

But should you destroy your soul!
That unseen part that danced with me,
With God! As well! Too!

Do not suspect me to survive,
To watch!

Do not expect me to arrive,
Or expect my smile on the face!

I care for wealth not jewels,
Wealth in soul,
Not fame!

And my prayer to God,
Take me to heaven or hell,
But do not make me watch,
You destroy your soul...

My reason for heaven is you,
But take my body and have it burned!
Take my soul and roast it on fires and coals!
Torture me a thousand deaths!

Before the pain in my heart!

If you were one tiny bit-
To destroy your soul-

My life in all this-
Is you,

You'd end me should you sin!

The music follows me so far and so far

Poem by Marc Aupiais

There is no other woman
as the music plays again!
Beautiful classical music!
Opera I think!

Whenever I walk away!
The music stops quite still!
As it may when I kiss you!
Or when I do look away!
Quite ashamed!

Should I tell you I love you!
Despite my betrayals!

Should I say I adore you!
Just below Mary and God?

That my lust leaves me!
As the music does clearly
politely play!

That when I'm with you!
I love you to bits, and
pieces for what is my heart!

It stimulates me- the sound!
As does your breath on my neck!
Breathe on me baby girl!

Speak! Sing! Shout!
Speak!

Let me out it! As life!
Your breath!

Never sin in word or deed!
I love you so much dear love!

I watch a rapper- a pointless task

Poem by Marc Aupiais

My lover- I wonder- at the 7 hills, and the Tiber-
Green and beautiful-
Is it only in my mind!

And I watch, as I am to be
Entertained.

By rap- fast talking-
Sometimes to music!

Filled with dirty politics,
And vulgar dirty mouths!

Yet I am to be entertained they say!
Not by the 7 hills,

But by some dirty young man?

Who cannot imagine the 7 hills,
Or the Tiber?

Instead of the symphony of our world!
A fast talker? A vulgar malcontent?

Thank God, I pray you feel the same!
Our world is beautiful!

Entertaining enough!
Without fast talking!

The hills are alive!
Let us hear singing and music!

Let us sing,
As we watch,

Let us observe- what is good!

I do it is- I believe in ghosts

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I do believe, it seems-
In ghosts...

As I feel your warmth,
A living ghost!
A wonderful wonderful wonderful wonderful!

You are not dead!
You are with me!
A tempest in my hurricane,
A hurricane in a storm!
A hurricane in my tempest!

As I am to you!

And the horse did rear!
On hind legs, the jealous beauty!
And the world shuddered at her noise,

Her voice! Beauty!
Her mouth life!

As she galloped in a circle!
And consumed me,
In ravishment!

And I look to my ghost!
To you my lover!

And I wonder!
Does the world know?

What is coming!

My love I wonder at you

Poem by Marc Aupiais

And I hum, a song you love,
In my mind, it entered!
And it was you!
For why else would I hum,
But of your love!

I hummed and softly ' sung!

True love sees, it judges the lover- as God judges the church!

Poem by Marc Evan Aupiais

True love judges,
It sees a speck-
It removes the plank from its own eye-
That it may remove her speck!

True love is good!
It tries to do right!
It judges the lover,
Holds them to standards which are tight!

True love doesn't leave,
But it insists on change!

It demands the highest standard,
As it does not leave!

Confess for me love!
Confess to a priest!

And attend church

-whenever obliged,
By Our Law!

You see- true love, is why I'm acid!
Is why I attack you so,
With passionate love!

For I hold myself to the highest high,
But hold you a little higher,
Or the same,
As I know you hold me too!

Believe in me love,
Here at my low!

For I will only reach my high, by your demand!

That is love which does not leave

Poem by Marc Evan Aupiais

Because that is love which does not leave,
Which is uttered with condition,
Of the person it is uttered to!

And that love cares, it does not leave!
It attacks the lover, and the love!
And holds them to the highest standard!
For it would not leave at the lowest!

Such is the love you have from me,
Such is my love for you!

And your love and my care for you, alone, hold me to goodness!

And that you will not leave! As I won't leave you!
This is why I try not sin!

I love you conditionally,
On it being you,
Your identity!

Beautiful quote

"@CaelumEtTerram: When you truly care for someone, their mistakes never changes our feelings because it is the mind that gets angry but the heart still cares."

Love you Kels! Awesome close friend!

Sorrow I find, looking from the hind

Poem by Marc Aupiais

A little removed, through a performing double lens
I look at a distance-
Like a soldier who decides to scout behind and ahead!

Remorse I feel! I did sin!
Sorrow! Beyond sorrow!

Fiend I am- I hurt my friend!
And took their love- their gift!

I pray it not be sin!
That their way forward!

Is my way within!

Terrible is my sin!
For my sin is not of me!

My character- my soul tarnished!

I feel sorrow for my sin!

Baby girl I sin

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I sin, it is quite unreal-
That I am a fool-
For it is a fool to sin!

It weakens,
And makes!

Extra grace needed
To cover our mistakes!

Yet you wrap my sins in lace!
And place them by God's fireplace!

We confess- and that is when God
Most of all aids!

Ask God! Take My life! Give it to the broken!

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I'd never ask a man to kill me-
Though many times have I asked it of God- Himself!
To end my life, I've daily prayed!
But never man- do I give my life to!

Though I adore death-
And lust after her curves!
Though I stroke her sleek black hair!
Adore her black angel wings!

I adore life more-
Her skin, like silk at that-
Her wonderment-
Her hatred of death!

And for her do I hate death!
And all her lusts and vices!
And for her I adore
The tree on fire,
Should the tree still grow,
And thrive,
And survive by the ways
and paths
Of everlasting life!

I wonder at life!
When good! I can be awkward!
When bad! My heart hurt!

I look to you! Girl! Life!

I wonder and wonder!
And I see you!
Half death! But not quite!

And I look and see you!
And hear your siren call!
Beloved!

I see you! And pray you be life!
For death!
Doesn't hardly exist!

For me! What is dead is gone!
And good shall pass with me away!
As I walk and fly and run,

As I approach the knight-
The Sun! And the Son!
My path! My tainted one!

Pass away with me dear-
Only when God takes life from you!
Least you tell him you do not want it!
Fight for life!

With all you have left-
With truth, hope- love!

My love if yours not suffice!
God's if mine is too unkind!

Would you betray me? Would you tell me truth!?

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Baby! Lovely lady!
I look for you day and night!
I look for you! I know your face! Your name! And every else!

I look for you baby! Every
moment! In your eyes!
Your body! Your soul!
You are no malcontent!

I look at you wondrous!
I cry a thousand tears!

I love you wondrous!
Yet would you ever admit it to-
To our universe- our world!?
Why do you deny me today?

A private matter! Dear girl?

Winds from east to west

Poem by Marc Aupiais

With tears I look west. West!
The enemy of man!
I cry at what I am to become!
The wind blows me! East!
East to West!

West! To death! The exiled Babylon!
To the very problem with our world!
Personified!

I look in our pond love!
My girl I stare at it and see your face!
I had once felt disbelief!

And often! A moment!
I feel a fool!

I cry as I look to the west! Winds blow my tears East and back again!
West! My enemy! West! Death!
The cancer that breaks the world!

West! I walk west! Into ash and death!

West! The corruptor of my world!
West I head to- for West I must become!

Does my hair blow in the wind! In the night! Moonlight

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Does my hair blow in the
wind! In the night!
Moonlight

Baby girl! I ask!
Baby girl! I love you!
Even as you pull and push!
And swing me around!
And spin me out of control!

Even as you swing me
... ... ... around- as I
wonder when last my feet
touched the ground.

Solid ground- what was that!
You push and pull me-
In a swaying dance!

I listen to music-
And a friend also hears!

But they don't hear you much here!
Even as you are with me!
And dance the night every night... Away!

And fast forward time!
In hope of meeting me!
As though once again...
And evermore!

Baby girl! I adore you
love! Lovely! Lovable!
Cuddly! Godly! Yet mine!

And you swing me around!
My feet hardly touch the ground!

And you are my solid sound!

Tell me baby... I love you

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Tell me baby- that I love you-
You have my heart!
And yet! Yet! You don't have all of me!

And we know it both!
Lady beautiful!

That while I give you all-
I don't have all!

I'm missing- inadequate!

And I fear always!
You'll want for someone other!

Baby girl! Don't leave me!
Tell me that I love you,
And the "I love you",
Too!

Say you're the girl I love!
That I was made as for you!

Tell me that I care for you,
And the "I care for you too Marc"! Your "Mr Aupiais"!

Say you love me baby girl!
And "you love me"

Please baby love me!
Tell me- lead me- guide my heart!
Chastely baby- my love!

I ask as there you are-
Even there in your's... my mind!

And here I am-
In your heart soul and life!

My lover- why do we shower or bath

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Dearest love

A friend asked me,
Quite in everlasting
despair... She was...

Now... She said unto me...

Why should I confess...
My sins... With my being me...
I only sin a thousand times more...
I sin as I breathe...

I wanted to cry for her...
She hardly understands...

Why bath...
Why shower...

We only need to again...

Confession is like water...
We need it regularly...
It cleans out the bad toxic sin,
And gives us a clean slate again...

Besides... Sins build up...
And there's only hell...
Or sin to bin...

My love... What of this...
Do we confess our own sins...

Write I say, write, write, write

Poem by Marc Aupiais

My dearest love- I wrote to a friend!
Dearest love, hear what I wrote my friend!

Write- for I long for it!
Speak! I want your view!

Be human- not some animated soul!
Talk! I want to sing and dance-
And want you to take that chance!

Shout! To the heavens least they fall-
Least they crack bending to hear your whisper!

I wrote this to a friend dear love-
Yet shall she write?

Shall she share her precious words?

Would you my baby girl-
Love ... ?
Had I asked you to?

Shall you write?
And tell my friend too!

I talk to God

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Baby girl- I talk to God-

He says love you-

I ask of sin-
He says c'est la vie-
But not for you!

I ask of suffering-
He says I should comfort when he stands by.

I ask are you good-
He doesn't answer me-

He says instead I Am!

Can one judge reality?
The aquarium in which we all rest?

I ask of sin!
He says- not for her- not for you!

I ask of love-
He says you are mine!

Birds blue and red

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Birds blue and red-
Green sky- through broken trees,
Below me water- rain puddle- quite cold.

I sit in it- cold- unable to move!

Quite abandoned in exile!
Without your love I'd be dead.

Your love is my water-
My nutritional light!

Black rocks, broken branches

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Sharp edge- I feel it- as I went.
Burned my hand- as I lean on it!

A vibration passes my head,
I collapsed!

Black rocks! Broken branches-
I look high above-

To where I subtly fell from!

I know I'm in pain-
For I know what hope- love- life: is!

Death mountain- mountain of death

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Trees. I walk under trees.
The hot sun blazing gently down.
Thirst- my mouth is now dry!
I have a headache-
Sun makes me tired.

In the distance there are wild creatures,
It isn't hardly safe.

Safety in reality,
I search for a cave,

A shelter is better than-
Acquiesce to death!

I hide in a cave, least I cave!
And there you are-

Again my dear-

And we search and we hunt-
You help me live to bear- all!

And more can I bare!

Broken letters written with me

Poem by Marc Aupiais

You write my life dear-
What happens to me-

Mountain brookes,
Dripping streams,

Evergreen tree, winter is why I knew,

And there was my name,
There is my name,

You write in broken letters-
My life- my blood-

I'm your work-
Dearest dear!

Lady of truth!

I live in fear of your threats

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I fear that you'll leave-
Constant is my fear-
That I shall awake- without your presence softly or harshly there!

You threaten me dear-
With pain... With suffering...
With absence dear!

Without speaking- you speak to my fear!

Everything isn't really as it seems dear

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Dearest lady... You and I do know...
All is not at all as it seems,
All is not as it appears!

That is the sin of the
world-
It makes things appear as
though they are not-

And the sin of her people who were conned
In quite joyous an acquiesce!

Is it not?

And it is a sin to them my dear-
To protect what was- what is...

For their sins cannot bear
to be what they are!
And they too cannot
survive the truth...

Dear...

We of all know their sin...

But what dear dearest dear!?
Shall we do about it?

And what of our sins, dear lady?

What of our faults...

Surely! Good must prevail!
If not in dark then light!

If not in light!
In dark!

Whatever the world says,
We two are not lost!

Rather, we stand in the water and bath,
And twirl in the water and splash, and play!

And no one sees us as we play-
Too focused on material wealth!

We have that quite enough-

But we have more- we love-
Dear lady girl!

I know the truth a double edged sword

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I wrote those words in duty...
In love... For the LAW is love...
And even for you I must speak of truth...

My job. a photographer. a photographer of words, of Rome...

Girl, I know I've hurt you...
And your enemies have gained of my words...

Yet! What is the material in comparison...
What is gained here at loss at risk of your life...

I should attack you... With truth... And death...

With hope... And love...
Though love is death...

I shall risk me and the Universe, and Universal Faith...

And all else- should it save your soul...
Even to my own eternal death love...

Though my ways are righteousness...
Evil does not benefit...

And I am not a man for weapons...
But words...

Baby girl I've hurt you...
I pray to hurt you more...

My love for you- my broken love in sorrow finding, parting

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Night! Shatters!
Day! Breaks!
Time reverse!
World anti-clockwise!

Breath! Tears!
Night! Day! Fears!

My love, love me!
For sorrow takes me!

I need you to! Believe!
I need you to care!
To hold what I do value so dear!
And hate what I hate!

And this my dear is why!
Hold your true inner intuition- don't let your own views abate!
That I'd hate!

A road I drive on

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Through the darkened lens,
Light hits my iris,
My eyes see colour,
Dancing laser light,
As trees filter light,
An engine and movables shudder and sound

Slightly dizzy, the road moves up and down.
It is tired, exhausted, sleep deprived.

I drive, and wonder at the tired, twisting path.

Such is life,
A tired, winding line!

One must soldier past
One must focus on.

And stay awake,
Aware least one crash!

A half broken glass

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Half broken?
Half fixed?

What is a glass half shattered?
Can we call it whole?

For the word good means whole,
Thus wholesome means good!

Evil is lack,
A glass isn't half fixed,
Perhaps half still preserved!

A glass half broken,
A splinter of what was,

Can be fixed!
But not if we deny the other missing half!

How else to fix it!
To make it whole- good-
Useful for its purpose again.

A glass half broken,
If replacing a full glass,
Is quite evil,
Quite a calamity,

Though slightly less broken,
Is better than ever slightly more inadequate!

Some are broken for their purpose,
But there is goodness and lack!

Aim to be a whole glass,
Try fix yourself, it's hard,

But worth it,
Aim not at your own broken standards,
But at God's

For "the spiritual man judges all"
Says our God's scriptures,
In the Testament, the Gospel's epistles' that is New!

A strange noise

Poem by Marc Aupiais

A tribal drumming,
Like a buzzing in sensitive
ears! Yet! To me! A
thunder! Deafening! To my
...

broken hopes of hearing life!

And the distant elephant agreed,
Almost in Jest!
As it stomped softly on the
African ground!

...

Trance like! My head started
Almost to throb.

...


I withdrew for some air,
Least I get sick.

...

In the distance was a fire,
And more European sounds,

...

Out in a wilderness: a parish,
I entered it!

...

Salvation from what I couldn't comprehend,

"Ave" I said to it and to Maria,
And Pater I said to God,

...

Nothing changes of Mother church,

Hail I say, Father I,
Petition, I pray!

...

Where elephants were- now are trains and trucks-

And taxis, all more
... dangerous than beasts

And white clouds rest above,

As on Sunday morning we say an hour's prayer-

And devour our God!

More close to nature-
Than the pagans I watched!

I flee to the church-
The elephant agrees!

In her quietness is historically-
Deafening silent noise!

And unlike the pagans I watched,
She is not foreign-

Not to a foreigner in the world-
Not to me!

Sweet joy of honey scented daffodils

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I look to you baby girl,
Where are you?
In fields of flowers?
Is that a river?
The river of your heart,
Your arteries and rushing veins?

I eat and drink and move
in your graceful presence!
Baby girl! Where are you!
Today! You are mine baby!
Mine! Love! Today and the
morrow's today! Infinite
Promptly and so!

Roses, I smell,
But your sweat is more sweet,
Violets and daffodils-
Mean nothing much to me,

But your smell,
And your looks,
Your face,
Your body,
Your sound-
That voice!

Honey scented daffodils-
May do much for a bee-

Quickly serving his master-
His queen!

Yet, you are more beautiful than any ordinary monarchy's broken, stupid, foolish- scene!

And I fly, fast into your light,
The flame I'll flammably never resist!

Monarchical- the buzzing bee-
Knows not life-
For I know your love!

Broken clouds over endless white, grey and infinite contrasting dark and light

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Elephant skin- is how I'd describe the cloud.

Elephant skin, maybe a dry rocky desert,
A highveld, Kruger style drought!

She spoke to me, standing barefoot on Mother Earth.
She stood softly in front of a grave,
In the graveyard of Mother Church!

And on the grave- engraved her name!
Dead now, but always alive,
Buried in the graveyard in the bowels of Mother Church,

Set several feet below dear Mother Earth!

She spoke- standing on an elephant like cloud!
It shook its ears,
And began to charge!

Yet mist turned to mist,
And every threat was gone!

Sucked in by her grave,
Her death- chaste life!

She spoke to me of love,
Of the blackness of hearts-
And how to love she taught!

A dead woman- centuries mist!
She spoke to me of passion!
Of promises,
The deadliness of Caesar's lust!

And she spoke to me,
An anchor tied around her neck,
Three arrows in her heart.

Her bones all splintered and broke!
She stood there,
Fire arrows flying left,
Flying right, right into the vision of eternal light and finite timeousness of night!

And then my ankles were below the dirt, and the sand storm of time came-
I was buried un-timeously-
In night!

Hyenas- cleaned my bones clean,
And together with her, stood my grave,
Kindly engraved-
With the name others in mankind-
Did call me promptly by!

Comment-allez vous?

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Bonjour Monsieur, Comment-allez vous

Je dis,


Yet he is British, and he will not reply, while he does understand,
Even adore the language.

J'adore parler francais.

He looks at me with a vague disdain.

Goiedag ek het gese.
I said it to a Zulu man,

And likewise the Afrikaner refused,
My kindly worded:
How are you!

Broken in death at Babylon,
Language holds us apart,
Held us together!

How can we another comprehend,
When everything his blood is,
We softly can well despise!

Death beseech me,
She told me not to fear!

She said language,
Is one of many ways to speak,
Not all require the use of human ears!

She swooped down on her blessed black wings,
As though softly calling me home!

The way we live here matters,
And it is our duty to live for Life!

She looked at me and spoke to me,
Of how language isn't life!

Of how we may not understand another-
Yet we can all understand the love of husband and wife!

C'est la vie- we are different, and that is life-

Yet some are chasms,
Others puddles,

Which of us is swimming, to lay a bridge to life!

Sometimes it is better not to understand,
But rather to despise-

Not our fellow but his galloping horse,
... which heads the dark not the light!

Light of broken hope- washed without soap

Poem by Marc Aupiais

In the distance a tower- with a light above,
In the night, a hallowed scream,
In darkness which endlessly does it not repeat?

Shadow and water combine in this night,
A flash of lightning,
A sound in my living death,
In endless depth,
Of darkened death-less night!

A light of hope, not of man,
A light he cannot wash away or make clear with human soap,

A light of hope- within of mankind.

She looks at me, this light of hope,
The tower bends,
Looks down at me,
And lifts me up,
The tower of death's life hopes!!!

The night makes noise, a crackling sound,
Whips of sound,
Whips of light,

A circle,
Then hope in the night!

The moon stares, and guides my life,
She shall lead me!

My only reflection of light!

A man I am- I am a man

Poem by Marc Aupiais

The French ancestor, humble artist painter,

Oft, I am true man think of him,
Oft I wonder at the poverty stricken man,

I wonder at my ancestors there,
Artistic but in monetary,
Lacking!

I am a true man,
Caught up in emotion,

Yet so strong is it,
I pushes me down a painted current,

And into the painted winds of life,
Into the tainted blood of what was settled, quite trite,

I look into past times,
I weep, contrite,

My woman I look to,
My child I won't spite!

I look to you standing there,
The Madonna in my mind,

But if one were to paint with you,
To draw your dear life,

You are not paint,
But one day my blood and one day my flesh!

Dearest girl, paint with me,
Make life out of death!

Who am I really

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I wonder this now as I write in the dark!
I don't know God for I don't know me,
My weaknesses in loss of self control,
Or rather in perfect control,
But by a me I despise!

A me who uses others,
A me who can lie,
A me who seeks his own pleasure,
His own every desire!

Treachery! I look and cry into your eyes,
I let you down again my love,
Hug me while I cry!

I live my life for you my love,
But emotion and fear and foolish lack of pause,

The void that is where I'm lacking you,
The void is my sin,
And whenever I am missing you,
That is the void I mustn't fill.
I compromise in sin, but an inch is a mile,
And evil takes what I bargained for oft!

Have faith in me baby girl,
Least I lose faith in my map,
Least I lose faith in your faith in me,
And depths never cease to weep and tremor in death, my death for loss of your love,

I am not who I am,
I'm selfish, not a true man,

Common is my sin,
Even if I weep in shame,

I do not know God,
For I do not know me,

Don't lose faith-
Don't lose love-
Don't stop hope-

You're all that I have-
Love,

Have faith my very faith,
Trust in my love,

Its all I have,
Least of all,

Its all I have,

Most of all!

I give it all to you!

Silly baby- wise lady- I love you baby girl

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I want to say: Silly Baby- I love you;
Never doubt me babe;
I am yours forever-
Trust me ever baby girl!

I wear you, my silly baby;
Within my depths of heart;
I hold you, and clutch and hug you baby;
Innocent and clean;

I want you to me mine baby;
Forever; and ever and ever and ever;

To lock me to you;
Shackle me;
Take my freedom;
My entire life;

All my ambition-
You are my only want!

None but you are my life!

What is want to God? What is your death, christian fool!

Note by Marc Aupiais

What you want does not matter,
Realise truth as the desert sands swirl, and destroy.

What you desire, is hardly a concern,
It means little if anything,
It isn't even what you really desire,
You don't know what you want,
You are a fool,
Worse than an infant,
Less intelligent than a donkey,

Ask your self what you want, then look back a bit,
Say: why: why do I really want this?
Ask: what lead to this:
What did I want when I decided I want this?


Simply because a line of thought is no longer popular, does not make it wrong,
Popularity of thought, is as pointless as fashion.
You don't want what they say you want,
They don't especially know you,
Not more than God,
And they only want to destroy you.

Anyone can follow fashion- few ever learn style.

Ask what you wanted, realise your deep despair and loneliness,
Know why you sin,
Why you store up what is not yours,
You infinite fool,
You finite idiot.

Why would God help you if you don't trust him?
You have a duty to yourself,
But not in sin.

You will die by tomorrow's noon,
In this dark evil night.

But some raise again in dawn not dark



[Analysis of today's Gospel and readings brought here by Chastitysa and Tempest and the Hurricane, by Marc Aupiais]

I'm scared my baby girl

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I fear my daily spool!
In it I am a fool,
In black and white!
I have my fights!

And fall into eternal darkness
How is it I long for you?
I fear I may be Yesterday a fool!

Replac-ed in tomorrow's dews!

Baby I want your dawn!
Be into my heart in true!

Rise upon my dawned deathly bright light!

Lead me unto heaven,
Solid ground for a steed of light!
Teach me not to sin my love!

All of this is paramount!

I took it after you

Poem by Marc Aupiais

When I said! I do!
And promised my soul to God,
Like a wedding! Girl! To you!
For you kiss I long for is life!
And like!
I weep in your white dress,
And hide in you like a sleuth.

Baby, I long to hear your angelic voice!
And seek comfort in every noise!
I know how treachery does pain the heart!

Baby! Make me always all to you!
For I'd end me, if not for you!

In quietness I sin

poem by Marc Aupiais

Yes, dearest, you know its true I do,
You know I've sinned, I sin for you,
In hope you'd spare me of my life,
For without you none is worth,
And my goals ultimately pointless,
Apart, my dearest, from dearest you!

Its ironic

Note by Marc Aupiais

I love debate dearly, especially Godly debate and discussion. And SACNS used to have much of it and two main faces. Now its mostly me who does the writing for our news team- I'm scary to answer to- though our other main voice can stand up to me. Anyway, I have decided that as SACNS is Scripturelink News division, we shall finally forsake that last little bit of independence between the internationally acclaimed Scripturelink search engines, apologetics brand and our news sites. We are finally accessible exclusively under the scripturelink name brand. Blogger will redirect, as we still find the Google blog the best tool for a news service: we are maintaining our blogger engine, under a scripturelink domain on our more than 20 blog based news services, just about!

Sacns is now a scripturelink product, and thus under that name. And we may add other blogs or services to that brand, even if hosted elsewhere. Prayerfully we will have more faces soon. My scary image as a tough editor, may be combated if only articles selected go on the main service. Really, I don't bite that much... Okay, maybe I do! Still, I hope one day we will have many voices under the scripturelink Catholic banner, for now we may soon be publishing from a few, or just one more, if the brilliant blog/article author and friend of mine says yes, and no: unlike me she's not infamous: I've been the only SACNS author to ever use his real name. As a result: I have received terrible threats from powerful and weak alike. And have my name gracing an anti-Catholic hate site, where they ask violence against Catholics- mentioning my name as an example of a Catholic, of the type deserving violence. It is not the only time hat has happened to me, but is a time when for once I did not have it removed. I am proud of it. That said, because of this, our authors are anonymous mostly, expect that if we have more voices again. Its always easier to hide behind me and often wiser. We are also looking for that kind of staff, and for the type who write, perhaps in future. None the less, hopefully a recognisable voice from our past will write for us again. Pray for that please. I miss their writing gracing our pages!

I couldn't help myself

Article by Marc Aupiais

What does that phrase denote? Helplessness, or giving up! It denotes giving up! Not- I failed at helping myself- but a statement of despair- I couldn't! Even if it is said with joy- it admits something! That we should help ourselves! To not help ourselves to sin, but to do righteousness, in any case! It is always choice! Laugh at sin! Try! Laugh at what it suggests. If you say: I don't want to! That is the key! I - ego- me! Choice!

Republishing: Asynchronisity: a God of Chaos: who sees Chaos in Order/ Order in our own Chaos

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 14, 2008

aSynchronisity (Article originally scrapped, but republished: with editing: on receipt of an email, I was sent: which encouraged me in reworking it)
Article posted by: scripturelink
Survey on Article:

(Journey in a Broken World)

Article by Marc Aupiais

Chaos is to the benefit of the prescient, and those who can predict better than apposing personages: as it happens: by order, we predict the future. Chaos, is that which causes confusion, to those not understanding it. Those who know where an ambush is laid can avoid it, those who understand a routine can use it. Utter chaos is the field where they, who know the future best: outwit all.


Confusion, mystery, chaos: imagine this: fire on water, and war all around, gun shots blast, and sirens blare. Blueness covers the scene, a hidden, not always noticed blue. Perhaps that of the sirens, but not. Red dots, yet this is not a battle between police and robbers. Somehow, the mind must understand, and make order to know what they are dealing with. What makes the red dots: are these vague images lights?


There is a battle going on, a small scene in a great chaos of conflict. One feels the stream, currents of time and space, and move slightly between carnage, and chaos: as bullets spray, and things all of a sudden explode. The sand is muddy now, one is fleeing, one is crawling on scrapping knees, and jumping, and rushing. The heat begins to beat so fast, yet one is guided, one escapes.

Imagine this, and how such casualties are struck, and death wrought all over, as one pauses and moves, like a guerrilla in the woods, or a woodsman hidden in a known forest, or kayaking boatman in the ocean, rowing between icebergs, and whales. It is a complete image which hits me, it always is as an author, and such images combine, and are woven, and altered like clay in my softly moving hands: to create novels: coming in day and sleep. Yet, while such chaos may benefit, none moral would make it through evil: that does not mean that those who are moral and in a situation of such: will not use chaos to their advantage. How much more is it certain: that while free will allows for evil: yet that which is order itself: will use the chaos from such hostility: for the good of all who love Him. In fact, they right thing can well be to tolerate some evil at times: yet call it account when it is best: because immediately smiting one may hurt the innocent: like God, we to only tolerate evil while in a time, and place where it is of benefit to good to do so temporally.

Chaos, and order in this temporal phase of the universal stages: are illusions of sorts, or rather: in the perspective of the beholder, they don't really exist, not here in any case: or else: they exist, but in a way which the ordinary man does not fully comprehend; but which the saint can see: whereby order exists, and chaos: but these are different from normal everyday uses of these connotations to sound. Order refers to control, but only so far as it is needed because control of events by that which is stuck in temporal time: needs to rely on predictability, even cause it. In other words; to order that something be done: is to try to cause a sequence of events where it occurs: orders are there to create order, or an order of benefit to the one making them, or which such thinks of benefit.

We cannot by our perception alone: know the future, or why God does as he does; mystery creates a special "chaotic" code, which only in the seeing of truth, we can understand of all. God is not temporal, but eternal, not even aeviternal, as "rational" souls are. Yes, perhaps the body of Jesus is aeviternal: and that which leaves his form is temporal: but in his divine nature he is eternal, his human nature: I am not qualified to say this: but perhaps it contained temporal or aeviternal parts; yet in such a way as that which is divine could possibly have this: Jesus was fully human: perhaps then his human soul is only aeviternal.


God is eternal: that means he can be none but basis of the fabric of time and space, the little bubble of necessity: we walk and breathe in. Outside of God, there is nothing, there is but darkness: he is the blue bubble which causes the flickering spark of life, caressing all: yet as a lover, not an enemy. He is not the chair I sit on, nor my DNA, yet he is the power in which these are supported; in which all reality rests: against which; ever for now: sin falls against in rebelling, with destruction: breaking death loose on the world! Evil, fighting this power creates false perceptions, so that we neglect to see order in the chaos: and therefore are hit by it and harmed. Even as we admit that a sort of chaos is the order of the universe: we must admit that a good God would create a way for even us to conquer the chaos: this is the purpose of ethics, and virtue: that which is good is compliant to the "chaos" which is God's plan. Morality is simply a dance of sanity: which keeping us safe beyond any prediction's extent. It is sanity which acts morally. We do not pretend to understand time and distance, or fully: the life after death. We do understand that it, which is compliance to the Chaos of God: keeps us alive as breath cannot, beyond death; when we obey God to every extent. Chaos is simply us admitting we cannot control the world. We mourn the pain of animals, and our own pain: and though this is why often some attack God when animals are hurt due to elements of time and space: it is because we are like them; and fear: yet God does no matter of moral evil or anything he considers evil: to man; either evil causes death: as sometimes, it seems: occurs; or in fact: death is not an end; only a doorway to the next sections of our consciousness: that final place: when we are alive or illusion and of death. Indeed: death is the responsibility of God, even the Greeks put this to their Gods: the three "Fates": to disobey God is the route which all sin takes: and whereas morality is the peak acting of sanity: sin: is the slow loss of such needed sanity.

Imagine Him we worship: walking now, by a lake, yet what does that mean? What mystery incarnate: that infinite being: appearing to be, or even being aeviternal in a way, with even perhaps temporal parts: such seems chaos: such energy in but a small form. It is the goodness which makes what seems chaos to be order, and which conquers all illusion which is the actual chaos: this ability to comprehend, and conquer chaos: is the gift which is given. Our salvation lies in the child: Jesus, a man at this time: who walked by and on the lake. Showing he is in control, he walked on such lake against our predictions. Such is "chaos", is it not?

Yet, he is as much a human as a God, even now, he is both: and a human made order of chaos: not by taking the chaos away: but by giving meaning to it, and all things, so that we could be sane, and calm in chaos: collected: and able to exist forever.

God is not a God of contradiction or chaos, but God is also not only a three dimensional being, but a three personed being, yet not three Gods, but one. Our ways are in order, and prediction, his is in a higher mysterious order, sometimes appearing to be chaos and his ways are in knowing, and doing true things. The war between God and evil is between Reality and falseness. God is reality, the very DNA of time and space, or rather: something more elemental than that.

We rightly think God is order, he is not then simply our order: simply put, unlike His rational soul: we are not entirely sane. He is a God who created order: but that is for us, and of his nature, by which we are ordained to be born, he is a God who is logical, but that is because he is the fabric of the universe: that one which all relies upon, on which the fabric of the universe relies, and rests. He is not all things, but all things need him to exist. That which is real relies on him, yet all things cannot include evil. Evil does not technically exist, but is a misfiring, something, a madness which choice allows man: which sucks his very life from him, like the merciless tide of the unforgiving seas. God is "chaos" in a way, but ordered chaos. The chaos which is evil is that without meaning: it is the slaughter of the good; it is evil. Evil: is that which makes us less real: if God is Reality: evil is Illusion, while it does not exist: the void where it is does: so that one truly disobeys by sinning. Evil is a lack of Good: of Reality, of God.

Every Just War, or Just Uprising, is also an unjust war and unjust battle. Those fighting on one side are fighting a Just War, those on the other, an Unjust War.

Is God Chaos in his eyes: no: yet that which is aeviternal cannot fully comprehend that which is eternal: at least not yet. Chaos, in fact is what we use to denote a situation in which we are unable to predict far enough ahead, so as to handle it. Chaos is dangerous. It is how one may well describe many things: it is danger, and fear all at once. It is when: if we could predict its source, we could well survive.

So; if the universe is chaos: it is dangerous: how then is survival adequate except in Love: the key to all things. To comprehend love is to begin to understand God. Love believes the Gospel, it believes the faith: because of the source giving the truth; which is truth. Love, is in fact the meaning in the madness: and by it we can make the right move to stay in key with the music of God... What seems to atheists as insanity in a Righteous God: is not insanity, but love: God's chaos may not be comprehensible to man: but its meaning: love: is.

Love explains all: it is our mentorship in times, and oceanic bouts. Love is deeper than romance: which itself is not love. As yet imperfect: human love; oft wrought with evil illusion: this nature of a higher force: tells us of the perfect Devine love. Waves in the ripple tank reflect the mammoth monsters of the ocean, which hide sharks, and monsters, and powers, and wonders.

God is not chaos but Order: this we know because in some things we understand his ways: especially in matters of love... at least we can understand such. Lust: which tries to falsely appear as, and substitute for love: is a reason many are denied comprehension of the chaos of life.

We do not understand the ocean, not either do we entirely comprehend, nor understand: the spiritual. That which is seen is influenced by unseen horrors, like a boat in the ocean, and protected all around by unseen deity, and goodness: that of Jesus, and the entirety of the Triune God, is that which orders things to protect. Each person has a guardian: an angel to aid; and we each can ask of a Patron; our sister who watches us like a lover, and bride. Yet, our safety is in God, in that which sees order in the chaos, and protects us: heart and soul.

Odd, or convenient, or simply informing for us: that the antonym of "Chaos" is "Order": and when we speak of commands we say it is "orders". We admit that by "authority": "chaos" is fought, or that commands maintain a status quo: yet this is to say that orders which increase meaningless chaos are meaningless: that society and commands are only justified when rational and ordered to the true nature of God. Orders, are that which attempt to combat chaos.

Our way to predict the world's actions is to understand that which causes them. The relation of Reality to us: is what we study, and we know that like in the ocean, jumping before or as waves break like walls, and fall; by mimicking the tides of time and space via what Christians call love, truth, sanity, and faith: we are able not to see God's actions as "Chaos", but as Love, and in this in Sanity, which is the only sane action: we in fact dance with God; meaning that we are safe.

That we have a word: "chaos"; this alone proves such fact of our inadequacy, and of our need of God, and saints, and angels and such: our perception alone is inadequate to maintain our life-force: yet Love, Truth, Reality Himself: offers us an opportunity; not simply to predict today, or ten thousand decades of millennia, if those even shall come to pass: but rather: the cause of the ripples, the love of God asks that we join him forever as saints; he asks this through the living and the Aeviternal saints and angels, and His Son. Here, his prediction, and nature, and the nature of the universe itself preserves us!

To say that the universe is chaotic is to admit we are unable to understand it fully: and to admit that we are not self-sufficient to handle our live here: we die, do we not? If our aim is life, then we are in need of life, so how can God not be needed..? He is needed!

The reason all living people, this even (as shown by the incident at the temple:) including Jesus, when he was incarnated as a child: make mistakes: this reason is that God realized that we would have a choice. We can live in chaos or order: but order lies not simply in handling chaos: one must conquer chaos to have order, and God is not only the God of what appears chaotic; he is the God of Order: order which to those as yet incapable of managing it: appears chaotic.

Now, to those not understanding a culture, or procedure: is it not all just chaos? Yet God gives us guidance: his hand is out, he is waiting, and moving backwards: we must look beyond the swaying waves: of the moving crowds, which do so simply frame his image: we must see beyond "chaos" into the true order, by which we tame the earth with order: we must see God; if we ever want safety. For the purpose of predicting the future; by all our statistics: is self preservation: and preservation of man, and his interests: and yet; the universe, while made with the aim of aiding man: was made for man and God to share: as a place where God has company with man and man's right desires: perhaps even Animals' temporal souls also exist in heaven: in another way than here. Truth is, if they do: it is for our enjoyment.

Somehow, suffering: and things which cause such fear in my heart: these are often the place and time where I turn to trust, and sane action. What is sane in the universe: is that which complies with the true order of it: morality, and religion: Catholic Religion: under Christ him self’s rule from the heavenly king's power: his power: his own truth in his kingship of all: to truth: to love.

So, while one sanely suffers small pain to avoid calamity, as with going to a dentist, or for surgery: we endure "great" pains here in exiled chaos of the mind: but this is nothing, and no thing's power: if we are to live forever in bliss. Chaos is a term which only the limited, finite beings, and perhaps that which empathises with them: can comprehend. Pain: when seen in the light of love: is small compared with the promise it carries for the Just men.

Love, while seeming madness: has meaning: making it somewhat predictable: at least in its purpose. God is not Chaos, but love: and what makes love sane: is a basis in truth!

A flower in your hair, a dress, all white, as snow, and your brown eyes, in them I stay

A flower in your hair, a dress, all white, as snow, and your brown eyes, in them I stay

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I fight lions for you, and men who are like lions,
One can only kill one, as it is about to strike, I know this as I hold my dear pathetic stick,
And I walk, as the ground does cake and break, and i climb the strange mountain, I have never really been seen to know,

The night is dangerous here, as I seek you out, yet move not at all, I’ve hardly left my room,
I seek for you, in nightmares, and in dreams,
In memories, which the world neglects,
I seek you, whom I betrayed,

I seek you, having become suddenly awake,
Suddenly capable, and as awake: in pain!

I seek you, my medicine and more, but not to cure me,
I seek you, in hope that I may be there, as your thing,

Will you find me, as I seek for you,
A flower in your hair, a dress, all white, as snow, and your brown eyes, in them I stay
As I dream of you, the desert in my dreams, the arctic in my blood,
And nothing much left of me as such,

I seek you out, white maiden of hope,
I search for you, whom I love when sane, and when awake,
Eyes close to the world, and the lies of sight, and sound,

I seek you out my love,
May I never cease to believe,
May I always be so deluded: or whatever the world does call me for my quest,
A flower in your hair, a dress, all white, as snow, and your brown eyes, in them I stay
And you stay in my heart, and in mine,

For nothing is like loving you, and nothing compares to being loved by you!

The Sky was jagged, the dawn was broken, the waves, did sweep me away

The Sky was jagged, the dawn was broken, the waves, did sweep me away

listen to ‘The Sky was jagged, the dawn was broken, the waves, did sweep me away ’ on Audioboo

Poem by Marc Aupiais

The Sky was jagged, the dawn was broken, the waves, did sweep me away
Friendship lost, hopeful gone, so much gained, so much lost,
And ahead was the dawn, and jagged rocks, and by the sea, netless, as it was, I noticed fins,
I noticed sharks, and felt much sympathy with them, so much I nearly swam,
Yet, ahead, were the jagged rocks, ahead was what was hard, ahead was pain,
Daily pain, moment by minutes, second, by hour, ahead was pain, I followed it, my dear grave,
And as I entered the current, cautious of the sharks, knowing I’d cut my feet on the rocks,
As I pushed, and was swept out, I wondered how long I’d have,
And I grabbed onto the rocks, my hands now blood, and desperately pulled myself forward, as around
And beyond, a different current came, and in my pain I felt nothing, then everything, as I crawled, and jumped,
On broken feet, with broken bones,
And as I moved, in danger with ever step,
And up ahead were the jagged rocks, and by them the dawn,
And I walked, and I hopped, and I screamed, screeched like no banshee ever has,
And out-howled every wolf, as I approached dawn, not dusk, the sun which is my moon,
And around me, the fins did circle, and some did jump, as I scampered, and lunged, and as tears and blood filled my vision, and my life, and as ocean spray did fill my senses.

And as missiles, these fish did move so fast, so smooth, with no effort, in the tidal pool of life,
My fate is hardly secure, I can only try, and my heart does beat, perhaps to fill the blood I have lost,
Perhaps, to give me the strength to get past this spot,

And it’s like you are there now, watching me, as I want to give the fish, what they desire,
Out of some empathy,
And as I drip my blood into the water,
And I wonder,

Shall I go on, or fall, knowing that a strange, evil force shall catch me,
And while I crave the other, in all my pain,
I know that forward is the only way, and as the tide does come, and as the spray does spit,
And as the rocks are suddenly less secure, I leap, and hit the ground,
And wonder if it is the dawn or sunset I strive towards,
In this dusk as I hope I jump to rocks, as some of the rocks I see do quite fast, move,

Forward i head, towards what I hope as to be dawn!

Does not play much well with others

Does not play much well with others

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Does not play well, such is my title,
Does not get along, or gets along too well,
And becomes your heart, even your god,
Does not play well, much, with others,
Such is me,
I snuck into your life,
I stole your heart,
But unknown to me, you stole mine too,
And yes, I betrayed you, a thousand times,
Yet, it hit one, like the morning smog,
And I awoke, to the bright light of day,
Suddenly in pain, Suddenly not only to regain,
God’s will I asked, a fateful step,
And as the ocean did sway, my feet did move,
And to your song did I sing, and to your words did I sway,
And I died yesterday!

And while it hurts, and i do love the sunset night,
The purple of the deep dark shades,

Yet, somehow, as I ask God’s will again,
And infuse myself with it many times again,

My heart flutters and begins to beat,
And while many a person I have lost, and many a friend, long-time, no more,
Yet I look to you, my dawn, and kneel in hope of thee,
And your kiss alone I crave, as what is lost,
Is but lost, but I am no longer so lost from/to thee..!

Your bed is on fire, with Antarctic fire, you're sadly burning for me

Poem by Marc Aupiais (I really enjoyed writing this poem, it is the sort of humour which helps one become chaste)

With passionate something, you’re burning for me

You say you’re hot, it’s not only you, dear beautiful woman,
Your soul is hotter, it’s burning with hell,

You bed, may be burning, burning for me,
But you are crisp in it, dear perfectly tanned woman, a skeleton’s key,

And your best clothes’ you’re wearing, the ones you know I like,
They’re tempting to me,

Yet, the hotter we’d get the closer to hell,

You are quite hot and bothered,
To that, ma’am I attest,

Yet, are you ever hot for God anymore,
You bother him in that tempting short dress,

And you wear make-up for me,
And whatever colour you know I like,

And anything else to ease a transition from dark to night,
But I still want to choose the light, and you are no lady of the night!

And I wonder what we lost that moment,
When first you saw me different,

When first I was not human,
And when you wanted me!

When did you go from wanting to wanton,
Am I nothing to you,

Every man can fall,
Even I can, especially you, dear ma’am,

And yet, I belong to another,
A promise I made, A promise I made,

And I look to you, all dressed in black,
At your eyes, and at your mouth,

All dress up for me,
No,
Not me,
It was never for me,

It was for you, to tempt me into you,
To change my being into something else,

And I look to you, all beautiful, and sublime,
I watch, moved by you, and your moving dress,

And I approach you death, wondering what of me is left,

And this is my light, as I approach you in the night, and as I begin to choose death over light life,
I look to you, your lips are not hers, your hands are not her hands, your hair is not hers,

I have miles to go, and promises to keep,
A promise to her, for all eternity, to be,

Whatever happened, should I be snared, caught or free,
To her my soul, my body belongs,

And should you snare me now, a million times,
I will free myself, and seek not thee,

If I were to fall three times, three times I’d seek her,
For she is mine, and I am hers,

And in my promise, and by humour, by laughing as I turn,
Laughing at what you should whisper in my ear,

I realize what I am missing, and I am hers,
What can you offer me, some infidelity?
What can you give me, anything in whole and truly,

Your panties are in a bunch,
Keep those bunched panties on,

I am not your boy toy,
Nor your someday boy whose your toy

Your panties are in a bunch,
Keep those bunched panties on,

Truly, I am hers, not but hers,
... and hers and hers and hers and hers... hear ma'am bunched panties: alone!