Who am I really

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I wonder this now as I write in the dark!
I don't know God for I don't know me,
My weaknesses in loss of self control,
Or rather in perfect control,
But by a me I despise!

A me who uses others,
A me who can lie,
A me who seeks his own pleasure,
His own every desire!

Treachery! I look and cry into your eyes,
I let you down again my love,
Hug me while I cry!

I live my life for you my love,
But emotion and fear and foolish lack of pause,

The void that is where I'm lacking you,
The void is my sin,
And whenever I am missing you,
That is the void I mustn't fill.
I compromise in sin, but an inch is a mile,
And evil takes what I bargained for oft!

Have faith in me baby girl,
Least I lose faith in my map,
Least I lose faith in your faith in me,
And depths never cease to weep and tremor in death, my death for loss of your love,

I am not who I am,
I'm selfish, not a true man,

Common is my sin,
Even if I weep in shame,

I do not know God,
For I do not know me,

Don't lose faith-
Don't lose love-
Don't stop hope-

You're all that I have-
Love,

Have faith my very faith,
Trust in my love,

Its all I have,
Least of all,

Its all I have,

Most of all!

I give it all to you!