Article by Marc Aupiais
I recently noted on my twitter, that I would want to have babies, even out of wedlock, quickly followed by my belief that one must wait until marriage to partake in the actual manufacturing process with your then wife.
Maybe I am unique, but when I think of sex, I think of babies. I want babies, and can't wait until marriage when I can have babies. People often treat babies as some sort of confinement on a person, as a prison sentence. But the thought of a woman one day pregnant with my child, the excitement as I consider what it must be like when your wife gives birth to your first child, my joy at the thought of being a father, married to a mother: a treasured woman, these thoughts excite me. I want children, and I want to spend my life with one woman. For me, the Catholic teachings on sex and marriage, correspond with my emotional response. What is more wonderment enhancing: exciting than making life, the thought that one may make a saving in the Bank of God, and possibly reap a friend and dependent from such. I don't believe in contraception, and I would never, and I vow this, I would never use a condom, nor, even if I disobeyed God by having extra-marital sex, would I want to further disobey him, and miss out on the great wonderment which is fatherhood, something I look forward to having when I marry one day. There is no just argument for becoming a murderer.
I remember in high school a couple, asking me if it were more moral to wear a condom in fornication, or not to. I responded, if I remember correctly, and am not confabulating: simply, that it was the second which was more moral. You see, there are degrees of sin, and sex outside of marriage with a condom is far more mortally wounding that sex outside of marriage without a condom, which is still a mortal sin. The sexual act is supposed to be a vow a promise: saying I will be here forever, and I will raise our child together. Modern fertility awareness is up to 98% effective year on year at preventing child-birth, and is acceptable. I will likely use fertility awareness one day, but when I look inside, what I really want to do is multiply, I want lots of children. I want to rear them, and teach them, and love them, even die for them.
I also desire to marry a woman, so as to love her infinitely, and die for her if necessary. I desire to love, and care, and add onto life. I am pro-life all the way. Oddly, this outlook gives me so much. You see, lust is pursuit of sexual pleasure apart from the unitive and procreative properties. It is sexuality with the life filtered out. It is not life, but death, and to many: addiction.
For me, I want a feminine but unique and wonderful woman, not to satisfy lust, which we all encounter, or at least most: if not only in the mind at times. No, I want a woman so I can love her, and be loved by her. I want the family, I want the children. I need a companion, not a therapeutic system.I want commitment and children, and this I have discovered is inside of me. Contraception, fornication, all these things, or the desires for them, do these not come from fear somehow. That fear, I am told is absent when Fertility Awareness is chosen for non-selfish reasons. That fear need not be there in a permanent relationship.
Jesus said marriage cannot be dissolved, although the relationship of those not validly married can be dissolved. Yet, are we to separate that which God has united?
Next time you have inappropriate thoughts, think: shall I marry this wonderful creation of God's, this daughter of God? Imagine a child inside of her. Ask yourself, what right you have to this temple of God's? And know, sex outside of marriage is the breaking of a physical promise, a promise of commitment, a promise of love, of loyalty and of childbirth.
I want children, but should I love a woman, I should not disrespect her by taking what belongs as yet to God. God is a foundation for a sacramental marriage. He is a foundation for all relationships. I believe in marriage, yet even if you have a child outside of it: remember: this is God's child you are dealing with, this is His creation, and it deserves life. God has loved you enough to make another like you. It is worthwhile keeping it.
When in my grade eleven leadership camp at school, I was caused by circumstance to have to inform my peers of my virginity, I was proud of God's gift to me. He had protected me, and the girls certainly liked my innocence. It is even more powerful to have the power to do something, and to not do so. I find even today: chastity, and respect get one further than anything else... more than that, they teach us to make emotional connections with others. We also want chaste women, who await marriage and are not lewd or evil tongued, women who wear appropriate clothing, and who respect their body and their God given appearance and inner beauty. Rather uplift the mind, than trap it in evil.
I want a chaste relationship, and I want marriage and children. This is natural and God given. Do not ever let society convince you otherwise!
As for me, what attracts me first to a girl is purity and innocence, is chastity should she have it, and with it femininity, and beauty. Any girl I should date, I should want to marry one day. And I should therefor respect her body and soul. This, we as men must do- we must be chaste, and this you as women must also do!
And yet, the night breeze, I sensed, it became a hurricane in the morning, my dream, in it as though truth itself, is to know that night breeze, as though in romance- to romance the mystery of the hidden truth. For I love the night breeze, which so few yet can sense.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Understanding the babies concept
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