I'm so not cool!

Article by Marc Aupiais

I'm so not cool

I'm so not cool, I have no tattoos, I believe in marriage, I don't drink or smoke. I like what dear God gave me! He's not "Big G Upstairs"!
I've smelt drugs all-right, while in a parking lot, at a shopping centre's underground parking placed party, it was in the air, and made me drowsy. Who knows whose it was, I was just there so someone could get a lift home.

I'm really not cool, I stay within the speed limit. I stop at stop streets, and give right of way when due. Really, I am nobody important, though all may know me. I can't tell one heavy metal band from another, or for that matter from a heavy metal case being dragged along the floor.

Really, I'm uncool. I'm studying boring law, worse, I love it, I read more in spare time. I really am uncool. I don't lie like the cool kids do. I don't even have a low class accent, nor do I use these wonderfully awesome cool slang phrases, proper English all the way.

I'm so uncool, speeding maniacs pass me in the roads, but I'm so stubborn I'm not altering, or persuaded to break the law. I was so uncool at school, that I left the "cool group" in like grade eight, mind you, four years later that picture was taken, the "cool dudes" weren't in it, I, Uncool was. And they wanted to be my friend... imagine how uncool I must have been.

I am uncool, individual, unique. I'm revolted by bad language, you'd be pressed to see me swear. I'm so uncool, I obey the law. I certainly don't even watch pornography, nor call all the ladies mean names like: hoe. I don't much like MTV, and I'm proud of my own family history. I'm not cool like you, no, I'm just Marc Aupiais, I'm me! I may even say a bit in Latin, or French!

I'm uncool, really, this rightly stubborn donkey/mule is, is me!