19 days no fantasies, then last night after embarrassing myself in front of a friend! So tomorrow is day 1 again;(! But I'm stronger than start and getting to know me again!
I've been escaping reality so long! Partly to escape pain! Suffering!
But reality is cold; and reality is hard! And I must face the music which is reality! I failed for a few moments, but like poison! It destroys me!
Missed my liver meds because of it! Self punishment I should avoid!
Hopefully can take them before I start having ill health!
I'm more determined than ever! And unlike some! I'm admitting my failure! I'm trying again! Publicly! I am no stage actor!
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