The loving Ghost

Poem ~Marc~Aupiais~

A crack in the wall,
Of my mind,
My soul!

Perfect for you dear serpent.
And through it,
Whispered my future,
Spoke of time,
Of space,
And lack thereof,
Of you!

And you my Ghost I fell for deep,
How odd it was,
I knew you in my sleep!

Your words before you spoke,
What you'd said!

And yet,
Though sense so truth,
Yet death so soot!

Waar is die waarheid?
Die dood van waarheid,
Dit is selfmoord!
Speak to me of sooth!
Speak of hidden proof,
Of why my heart doth not love doodmaak,
But staid!

And I sense the truths,
And thus withdrawn,
Is my aches!
Least death take my soul,
Darkness beget!

I must perhaps, maybe,
Forget!

And never forgive.

And I wonder-
Should I go ahead,
And make this,
Life's deadly choice-

To walk!
To live!
To laugh!

Again!
This black dark star!

I must perhaps, maybe,
Forget! Be less!

And I wonder...
Should I make the choice...

...To forget!

I am not set!
I cannot make,
Choice,
I want to acclaim!

Yet I can't move on,
...,Yet!

Loving Ghost,
I know not,

Yet I sense you yet!
I miss that sensed!

Loving Ghost,
Are doth not dead!

Death and truth, and life

Marc Aupiais

Flickering is hope~
She goes out~
And my fein dies.
My zest for being,
Slump in soot and night sight~

Suicide? There are different types.

To sabotage friendship,
And reputation.
Self destructive,
Separations.

You do not eat,
Or work to much!

You stop at the gate,
Parish late!

Your medication you delay.

You cut yourself!
And walk in rain,
Drive to fast,
In the wrong lane,

Death wish too is suicide.

Suicide... To a side.

Surround yourself with books,
And leisure,
Friends quite dear,
They do care!

Do not call your reasons stupid...
They are not stupid,
If telling means life not death.

Humble not insecurity.
Is the answer.

Pray and read,
And talk to friends!

I will believe in magic... In you!

Marc Aupiais

I hold my hidden reflection,
I look in the mirror halls, of time and spaces...
And all our enemies bases.

Like Romeo and Juliette,
Or Adam and Eve,
Forsaken,

Kicked out of paradise!

Yet in my heart forsaken,
I hardly blink a moment of doubt,
And my belief it drives,
And overcomes all!

Love conquers all obstacles,
Even those of my bred labyrinth,
Of our multicoloured lives!

Loss of life and time

~Marc ~Aupiais~

With my sunglasses on,
An invisible rainbow,
A beautiful day-night sky.

Imagination or intuition,
One waits on hope,
Yet life is swirl and dance,
Magic beyond spells beyond lies~

Yet~without~magic~
My world is ~cracked~
You swerve and move!
I cannot keep up!

And I wait~ seeing magic~ no one around believes~
And yet ~ magic~
Lights, swirl, blue and red,
Purple love,

Yet treachery is you ~way~ with ~me
You know not how not to deceive~
Deny my life with every breath~

And I wonder,
As I wait on bait and breath~
My last breath is never distant~

We live in magic~
Or await but death~

Impatiently~

A thought on Good Friday

Note by Marc Aupiais

This day we remember Christ died for us when we were sinners!

This day we remember we are sinners.

This day contrite we must repent, and turn to the infinite mercy of God~ who unlike mankind forgives all!

Loss and found

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Avoid the poor is the rule,
Yet my window was open,
the poor man was there
Selling lottery tickets already used.

He said he could not afford his own, only half
not any more.
I said no I would not buy.
Half a lottery ticket you can never own.

All or nothing, I will not cheat...
In God not gambling I put my trust.
In God not man.
Man only lets one down.

And I feel lost, Yet I have my map~

In the distance the sun sets and sets and sets; wide eyes overcome the night

Poem by Marc Aupiais

In desert eyes sets the sun,
They watch the night overcome!
In dearest eyes it overcome!
The sun set as it rise somewhere else!

Sun set sun set,
Stars all rise at night!
Though clouds hang over the earth,
And the moon,
We know not what light!

For the fog of war and synchronisity,
They block her reflecting light!

Night sets and wild eyes
see nothing,
hear nothing,
Hope, have faith in our love!

The night set,
Yet here it is day!

And we cannot see in night,
No! We cannot see without,
Light!

If I shout it's because I love you... Although I wish I didn't have to

Poem by Marc Aupiais

If I shout it's because I love you,
If I scream or you accuse!

It's because I care where they abuse,
I love where they use!

If I scream its because I'm not going anywhere!
I'm critical because our future is one!

And I'd never care to leave!
Not even for just once!

Though I wish you'd say more!
And let me know you better!

If I scream it's because I love you,
And I feel helpless as
though you hear me not!

I wonder if I know you at all

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I see you, I feel you,
In my heart, and your hope!
I hear you, see you,
I wonder and love!

Yet as you speak,
As you seek!

I wonder if, and I wonder how,
I wonder if I know you!
At all!

I love you but I am not me around you!

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I love you,
But I withdraw from you,
I am not me,
I do not tell you,

I love you,
But I cannot trust you,
Not if you Act the way you do!

I love but I don't have to be there with you,
Nor tell you my deep truths,
Or avoid dangers with you!

I watch you head for doom,
In this world and the next,
I do not defend for you,
For you have chose death,
Not my path my love!

And I leave you to God!
Knowing he will condemn against you!
Because you refuse my help,
For love of you!

So I withdraw,
And threaten for you,
Feeling inch by inch,
My losing for you!

Least you turn and seek for me,
You'll find me,
In truth,
Hidden deep!

But though I feel your presence,
Behind me as I sleep!

I know the distance to you,
And that our paths may cross,
Or never cross against each other,

As it is!
You head away!

And I cannot follow away without you!

The red sun rises in the night

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Die dag is donker as een ander dag.
Die dag is donker as die nag,
En daar is nie hoop nie.
In die dag of die nag!?

The day is different,
Darker than the night,
Though the sun is high,
Clouds break in deathly upon the skies,
Purple,
Or blue,
Not warm!

So cold,
The day is colder than arctic breeze,
The sun has forgotten our names!

Neglected the seasons,
Cold in summer,
In all the heat,
Colder than I've been,
And it rains,
Only on one's cheeks,
Cheeky rain it is!

Then grey!

And all the colours,
Matter not,

For you are the coldness,
That haunts my life,
The ghostly evaporation,
That was designed-
Made,
To warm not freeze!

But what warmth,
Of blackest hearts?

Terrible is the blasphemy which destroys my soul

Poem by Marc Aupiais

The beauty of our sinful thoughts,
The wonderment of the blasphemy,
Against emperor, God,
Against my nation and my birth!

The wonderment of the Blasphemy-
Terrible is the blasphemy which destroys my soul!

For it destroys your soul,
This blasphemy,
So beautiful,
So untrue!

And I hear the sun rise

Poem by Marc Aupiais

And I hear the sun rise,
I see the songs of birds,
And I cry,
I know the truth!

And the truth love,
You hurt me and the universe's dear fabric and threads,

Perhaps oblivious,
You stab me,
And break me.

A horse with hardly a spirit!
You broke me,
Will you leave me now?
Baby girl!?

With every breath

Poem by Marc Aupiais

With every breath,
I die a little more,
I break a little more,
And should my heart shake and shiver,
I know I am not at risk of suicide,
No- I'd die of you- causing me heart... Shake!

For your every thought,
Every breath,
Kills me gradually inside!
For I love you and miss you,
But my heart is breaking within my soul!

And your words destroy my inner foundation,
Pillars of my life,
I am dying of you,
I'm never and no more!

I love you love!
Don't make me meek!