Tuesday, May 31, 2011

As my shame

Poem by Marc Aupiais

On stranger tides,
Has life been been!
In stranger ways!
The heart does seem!

Somehow,
And I break and break!
Like ocean waves!

I see in truth,
My foolish ways!
My heart believes!
It always has!
Yet what good is belief?
What does it achieve?

I am either on the edge of madness,
Or the rim of dearest truth!

No, I am not!

I look at my compass pointing north!
And I see the world!
Pointing north!

And I wonder at my words,
My love!
With shame!

I regret it now!
With great shame!

Like waves breaking!
Breaking my name!

I pray and beg!
But I love!
Though I feel ashamed!

With every picture; every word

Poem by Marc Aupiais

"Winter thaw" - quote Mt Lewis!
My soul is thawing!
Ice removing!

With every picture!
Every word,
I find I love you less and less!

Oh the joy to abandon you,
Eventually when I get through this?

I should thank you, really,
For awakening my soul!

Uniting emotion, and
rational reasonable mind!

Which both know,
Your worth to me is Little!
Now!

Though loyalty,
Ought be my name!

For though I pray!
To be free!

It doesn't disappear!
It won't evaporate!

And Holy Mother at Fatima!
And Philomena, Joan,
And the saints!

Always answer no-
To my want to be free of you!

And my heart blood pumps,
And pumps!

Though I feel shame,
For still,
Loving dear you!

Monday, May 30, 2011

Tempest Treachery

Poem by Marc Evan Aupiais

I think of you, what you've done!
Its what makes me stay well away!
Its not some harmless fun!
Its what makes me shun!
You chose them, him, it, grit!
Over moi!?

And so though I love!
Stronger than ever!
Though I miss,
Adore!

I break my prison door!
And shackled chains I walk along!
You betrayed me!
I must move forward!
Have hope! Love! I love!

Yet until you are worthy!
You are not for me!

Though I miss you

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I miss you,
In my being!
Miss what I used to see!

I miss you, thoughts, fantasies!
Yet instead - I sign my cheque!
I give my soul-
My being!
To truth! Truth! You used
to be!

You are wrong!
Don't you see!
Cho?sing them, over me!
Yet! Love! It has to be!

That I must conquer these,
Thoughts of dear thee!

And should we speak-
Should you contact me!

Should we speak!
Should we speak.

Perhaps then I can give my heart and soul!
But not the parts- belonging to God!

Sunday, May 29, 2011

I do not feel, I feel you

poem by Marc Aupiais

Though I control my fantasy!
Truth! Be told!
I love you still!
Not touch or lust!
Love in truth, and reality!

Gasson:

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Gasson! I spell the sound!
In France! A Dream!
Music! Classical! French!
In this fantasy!

A woman dances, and waiters move!
In this dream!
Of dear dear France!

This scene I imagine!
With Author's mind!
A scene of love! And tragedy!

Paris (pronounce paree),
Centre of my soul!
Oh beloved France!

To whom I have never managed so!

Oh Beloved France!
And the river!
In my imagination!
For I cannot afford to go!

Beloved! France!

I wonder! At my lack of, shall we call it money!
Or something funny or not so funny?
That keeps me from Romance!

With you, my love?
Though you are not in France?
Only a glimpse! My mind imagines!
As Mother and I drive home from Mass!
And music plays!
Parisian! My once truthful dream!

And you love?
Are you real,
Or but illusive?

Have I lost you forever!
To mine true enemy!?

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

My love, my love

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Ever faithful, paradox Marc;
Ever faithful; the work of God;

God did it; for you!
Made me for you.

Perfect; be assured.
I am!

Stop giving up on me!
I'm here just for one.

For you.
Custom! You alone love!

Made to specification!
Exactingly!

The green colour of our world

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Gold and Green,
The colours of a hope.
Die perde en die vuurwapens.
Die nasie van ons lewenskappe.

And I look into my memories.
Die perde in my badkamer!

And into the top draw of my old closet!
Die donker plek!
Waar ek kan nie gaan nie.

And there, a carriage.
For a perd.

And I wonder.
My love for horses.

And this old cart.

Die donker dag.
Die donker nag.

Die vuurwapen gaan agter die nasie.

And at us Gold and Green.
Are we that different?

Than those:
Whom we are taught to hate?

End die perde gaan weg.
Hulle Hardloop.

Die kat loop.
En sy groot vriende gaan agter die perd.

We are different.
I think.

As the history,
Our wars, our blood.

Gold in the ground.
Green in the trees where good men fell.

And yet!
Though different,

Parts of our stories,
Chapter: na ander mense se boeke.

Part of our lives!
Are not that set apart.

Gold and Green.
Not red white or blue.

Gold and Green.
Not yellow, that sheen.

Gold and Green.
The colour of our people.

Different from any other.
Yet not utter.

Complimentary.
But not through flattery!

Learn our lesson!
We love all: our brother.
Red, White, yellow, Gold, blue or Blou.

Broken is hope.
Until there is love's hope's faith's found!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Be quite clear now Love

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I wonder as the night wears on.
The question I haven't asked.
Even as I kissed you lips.
Trusted. Gave my heart.
What excuse have you?
Any to justify this.. Art?
Are you his,
Love,
As he claims?
Or mine?
Make a choice.. If need..
Make haste!
I yearn not to waste away.
I'll always wait!
Until I can't life bear!
Then I'd hope you'd already found me,
Quite soon,
Own up to me dear!

Love my dawn~ Sunshine~ Sunrise

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Love my dawn~ Sunshine~ Sunrise
Light. Bathes my skin.
The tiled floor.
It seeps. It seethes.
It seeks.

It grabs between my curtain barring it.

It goes between my toes.
You do see.

Dawn! it comes.
Love within.
See.

I see nothing!
But you! And me!
Its all I want to be!
Be with me!
Speak. Whispered winds!
Enter love, beautiful girl,
Enter my love with me,
Love me girl!
You are my Dawn.
My wind.
My icy cold.
My pink! Blue! Red!
My soul! I live off you!
Only you, in whom I drown all other but us and hope!
Hope of rain.
Smell. Know My name!
Do not feel of me shame!
My desert night breeze!

Meaning! I aim! Pray! Crave for!

Poem by Marc Aupiais

We are taught at nursery stage.
To be extra utter brave.
Trust no one.
Love no one.
Never be weak.
They tell the child.

Who. Me! Rejected a red rose.
From a pretty young girl.

And who awaits one to trust... Be trusted by.
Unless she's here.
Invisible.
Unseen.
Not trusting enough.
To acknowledge me!

I stare into the swirl,
The empty abyss.

For that to define my style, and life.
For that to make me,
My birth worthwhile.
Driven past every hurt,
And dis-ease of mind.
Of soul!

I can love. I can fall.
I can write. Fairies on a midsummer night or
Melancholy sprites.

I can define.
The length of oceans,
To and fro.

But I want you to define me.
My being. You are my ecstasy.
And for you.
My heart does bleed.
The flow.
For you to drink.

And into hopeless hope.
I see.
I sink and sink.
But believe.
And hope.

At you.
You oughtn't mislead.
The distraught.

Save me if you will!
Be my meaning.

Make me have worth.
Beyond my miracle of conception, birth,
Mere goodness, truth, morality,
And all Able dream.
And teach me,
To your heart, and truth serve.

The citizenship! Hell's request!

Poem by Marc Aupiais

They seem a bit larger.
Perhaps taller.
Maybe wider.

Appear: broken.
A million marriages they have.
And lovers. That don't love with heart and soul!
Exemplified by their song!
Their dance.

And somehow. With my morals.
And my experience.
Somehow. No matter my wisdom.
Am I not shouted down.
Ignored.
Entirely.

Isn't it true?
And as they sue,
And steal, and mislead.

Love! Do you also...
Ignore me.

Unimportant?
For blood or birth?
You see?
My descriptive tease.

I feel I only wait to cease.
Am I only a crease?

As they exemplify a deadly disease.

And I. Quite sane insane.
Cannot please.

Not if you are them,
Or seek evil to please!

I am nothing. To nothing.
Everything. To you. If you
are something.
If you abandon their
disease!

Acknowledge me! Please!
Jealousy, my jealousy appease!

I listen to sounds! Blackest ink!

Poem by Marc Aupiais

I don't want to say my name,
Its nothingness.
Beautiful to me,
To everyone.

But what is it!
If I can't hear,
Your lips speak.
Of me. You see!

Quiet! Silent!
Jealousy.

The hope isolated stance

Poem by Marc Aupiais

Wonderment,
Meant so little.
Sadness,
Is what I've kept.

Loyalty. Whatever costs.
Where is that? Not you?
Yet here I am,
Broken,
Melted.
Lost.

My structure bright orange.
Molten. Deathly lead.
Flowing into the ground,
As though set.

And I wonder at this, my bet,
And wonder why I set.
And why my loyalty,
I wouldn't reset!

Though my enemies say,
My friends do too...
I've lost! My bet! And set!