Friday, August 28, 2015
It is my doubt not to speak
She said it spoke strange things.
No angels, or voices ever yet spoke to me.
Though my thoughts debate and argue matters endlessly.
It is with my own inner voice, my doubtful thoughts speak.
And surely, God has never spoken to me?
And my God is life, God of everything,
But my end is the ground, mortal darkness, or ashes of things.
And an angel in an orchard told her strange things,
It never spoke to me.
I was never foolish enough to follow my empty dreams.
And my God is light, and full of energy,
But my death approaches, a date is set and I am late - it will not delay.
A date written by my God, who will not betray.
And I well wish others, as my enemies thrive and laugh and smile,
And of me, they say the most ugly things, without basis,
And not in revenge, no... for the fun of such things.
And I admire Joan, the witch my ancients were convinced was a saint.
The witch our modern world no longer forsakes, nor burns to ashes upon the rough-made always-condemned stake.
And though they may not be true, I wish I heard her angels speak.
And I foolishly admire those with more from life to seek.
And around me, all simply believe,
But doubt has been my nature from infancy.
And I second-guess my every second-guess.
I wonder what will happen to my now empty body upon massive eternity.
Torn to shreds, or burnt, indistinguishable from cigarettes once seen.
And even so, I believe.
Although God sends me no audible messages, and his angels - I just cannot see.
And I doubt everything, even me.
And I wish some angel had spoken to me.
But all I have is intuitions, dreams and feelings of unease.
And perhaps a voice, inaudible to me, speaks of things unspoken.
But in such a thing I cannot just believe.
And the world itself, I doubt as I do see.
I doubt everything. I doubt you. I doubt me.
And God I sense not, not much at all just lately.
And I have never been foolish enough to follow my dreams.
And yet, somehow still, silly me, I believe.
And around me, I hear a million angels whisper unspoken things.
And yet, they speak to doubting me.
And I hear not a thing.
It's a predicament - I am doubting me.
Who is Marc Evan Aupiais?
A deep interest in the law of South Africa, especially our constitutional and common law, guided my studies and continues to influence my current career path. I enjoy engaging in the day to day work of being an attorney, and reading the material contained in our case law.
I have gained and enjoyed much exposure to the law and to the day to day details of practice, and to extensive litigation work, during my years of practise since my admission to the profession and enrolment as an attorney of the High Court, as well as during my articles of clerkship and, prior to that, when I worked as a student counsellor/paralegal at the Wits Law Clinic – in the final year of law school and during my studies at the School for Legal Practice.
I am passionate about the place of my birth, South Africa, and am proud to be a patriot and citizen of this diverse and beautiful nation. I consider myself a global citizen and keep connections in a number of different nations across the world. Communicating with people from other cultures, I believe, has aided me to have a more open-minded approach in so far as how I see, and interact with, the world.
I believe success requires not just hard work but intelligence, perseverance, humility, integrity, ingenuity, diligence, a strong work ethic, and the courage to request the assistance of those better-versed in a matter, or field, where necessary.
The cultures and legal systems, morals and courtesy systems, languages, intricacies and religions of South Africa and of the nations of the world, are subjects I love to research. I enjoy reading and writing. To keep abreast with important events occurring in other countries, I find my knowledge of other languages, especially French, to be highly useful. I passed Afrikaans at a matric level. I took Zulu from grades 5 to 7. The language I am best acquainted with, is my first language of English, which I speak in everyday life.
I enjoy public speaking and debate, and believe that manners, appropriate dress for an occasion and courtesy are of very great importance. I enjoy hard work and like to throw myself entirely into solving a problem.
Law & Career
I currently work under my own name and style as an attorney and sole proprietor, at Marc Evan Aupiais Attorney.
Law firms I have worked at include: DL Wilson Attorneys in Randburg North, Desmond Barry Attorneys in Morningside, Sandton, Botha & Sutherland Attorneys in Aukland Park, Johannesburg, and Serina Govender Inc. Attorneys. I also edit and write for the SACNS, have written breaking news for a multinational service called InfosNews Breaking News, and act as a correspondent for the popular french language Les News service.
Novels I have written include
A Lesser Instinct | My first foray into the world of long form fiction.
Read it without payment - on Scribd.
I have a YouTube account, where I sometimes post videos.